Page 19 of Where Is the Love

I’d been questioning things for a while. I supposed I was questioning God. Ever since Decklan started distancing himself in our relationship, I’d been wondering,where is the love?I’d even asked Decklan that question in one of our arguments.Where is the love that you promised me?It seemed love was avoiding me. He picked a fine time to show that he didn’t love me. He waited until I’d fallen for him. I’d let my guard down concerning love and men altogether. My worst fear of being hurt and heartbroken had become a reality.

However, it turned out that I had been with the wrong men, because I clearly felt passion, tenderness, and maybe even love from Brixton. It wasn’t like it was too soon because we’d known one another for years. No matter how much time had passed, we were still the same people at our core. Our connection was just as intense as it was back then. I was still somewhat reserved when it came to how much of my inner workings I made him privy to, but I knew that I would eventually share my soul with him.

I needed time to be sure that he was, for certain, the one I was meant for. I felt a connection to Nate too. I’d only been avoiding seeing him because it was so soon after my breakup with Decklan. Here it was, three months later, and I was still trying to get over my heartbreak. It was way too fresh when I first met him. Our phone conversations had been nice, though, despite how short they were.

He was always busy, and so was I, but we talked when we could, which was usually before one of us passed out for the night. Tonight would be different. I would be in his space. He’d offered for me to stay at his house with him, and I was still mulling that over. Thoughts of my experience with Brixton had been on my mind since I’d left Nome a week ago. The way he took care of my body had left me in a haze, wishing that we would have said to hell with Joseph and just been together.

I would have followed his ass to San Marcos and went to school there too. I could have gotten a business degree anywhere. The only reason I stayed closer to home was so I could check on my mama and get there quickly if I needed to. Only Jacob and I knew what was going on in that house, and I was more than sure we didn’t know everything.

However, Brix decided to come along at a time when my heart was in turmoil. It was filled with confusion on where to turn after Decklan. I didn’t want to trust another man to care for my soul. That shit with Decklan had caught me so off guard. My heart absorbed all the hurt and guilt. I felt the guilt because I blamed myself for picking the wrong man to love. I felt like I should have seen that within him.

Nate had eased my turmoil while I was with him, and I was curious to see if it felt the same way being around him. Either way, I knew I had to be good within before I could be good with anyone else. I thought I was until Brix told me things about Joseph, and Decklan popped up on me at the family party. My vulnerability was back, and I was afraid that sleeping with Brix had been a mistake… a bad decision. I didn’t mistakenly fall on his dick.And what a magnificent dick it is.

As the car took me to the Toyota Center, I received a text from Brix. We’d been communicating since I left Nome, mostly by text. I was so busy with my shoot. I ended up doing a second shoot while I was there. It was last minute, but I didn’t turn down an easy bag. Modeling had come second nature to me, and I felt like I was the full-figured G.O.A.T. when it came to it. My face was damn near everywhere, and it would only be a matter of time before I exploded. Shylou and Carter were grooming and preparing me for that.

I looked at my phone to see what he wanted to say.Enjoy the game tonight, baby. I miss you.

Just from his text, I wanted to tell this man to make a U-turn and head back to Nome. I knew I needed to explore this though. I would always wonder if Nate and I would have worked out if I didn’t. I responded to his text.Thanks, Brix. Miss you too.

That was the truth. I missed him like crazy. That was the only tough part about traveling so much. I was always alone. When the car came to a stop, I looked up at the stadium. I hadn’t been to a professional game in a long time. Nate told me that I would be up top in the box seat. I wasn’t really feeling all that. I wanted to be in the stands with the fans, enjoying the game, but whatever.

The driver opened the door for me and helped me from the car. I was here two hours early, but I was sure that was so Nate could see me before the game. When I walked inside, my suspicions were confirmed. Nate was standing there waiting for me. I smiled at him as he looked over my body in this catsuit. I’d worn a duster over it with a belt around it, but it still didn’t hide shit. I’d noticed in the mirror before leaving that I could practically see the outline of my pussy in this shit. It was too late to change.

“Hey, Jess. You look good as hell, baby.”

“Hey, Nate. You look good too,” I responded as I stared up at him.

The man was more than a foot taller than me. He pulled me close, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I closed my eyes, waiting to feel the sparks I felt the night before Nesha’s wedding. They weren’t here. I pulled away and smiled at him. He lowered his lips and lightly pecked my lips.There it is.My entire body heated up when his lips touched mine. I lifted my hand and rubbed the lipstick from his lips.

“Good luck tonight on your game, Nate.”

“Thanks, Jess. I’m glad you’re here,” he said as he grabbed my hand, leading me further inside. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about since Christmas. You stole my attention and have yet to give it back. That has to mean something, right?”

“I suppose,” I said. He wasn’t the only man that had my attention, so I surely didn’t want to entertain this conversation. “When did you get in town?”

“Yesterday. I chilled out with my mama and grandparents. But something else happened.”

“What?”

“I made contact with Noah. He seemed excited to meet me. He’s gonna be here tonight.”

“Wow, Nate! I’m so happy for you. Were you able to get an idea of just who your father was?”

“Not really. We didn’t get to talk long, but he promised that we would have a day to talk soon. Our schedules seem to clash. When he’s available, I’m not, and vice versa. Hopefully by the time the season is over, we’ll get to hook up. He’s been busy in the studio with a couple of his artists, and two of his artists had albums released, one of which was his daughter. So he’s been running nonstop.”

“I can understand that. So it has to be a big deal that he’ll be here tonight.”

The excitement was evident in his eyes. “Yeah. It’s almost like he’s my brother in a way. I’ve always wanted a big brother.”

He chuckled, and the smile that ensued was beautiful. I brought my hand to his cheek and stroked it. He grabbed my hand and kissed it as he stared into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Jess, even more beautiful than I remember. Damn.”

My cheeks heated under his gaze, and he pulled me in for a hug again. I closed my eyes for a moment, soaking in his excitement. I knew that my presence was part of the reason for his mood. He began walking again, my hand still in his as we got stares from people passing us and head nods from other players. When we got to the point where we had to go separate ways, he turned to me and smiled.

“Enjoy the game. Hopefully, you’ll be my good luck charm.”

I smiled back as he lowered his head to mine. His excitement had me feeling excited too. I was glad that I had made the decision to come. When he kissed me, I decided to give him more than he’d initiated. When I slid my tongue to his, he held me tighter and went deeper too. His kiss was everything I remembered it to be, and that only filled me with even more turmoil. I would have to make a choice. I couldn’t have them both.

He pulled away, and I, again, tried to wipe the lipstick from his lips. I pulled his face to mine then leaned to kiss his neck. “Leave that lipstick there. Have a good game, Nate.”