Page 38 of Where Is the Love

I looked away. Jakari had told me earlier that day when he’d met me at the diner then left when he saw my people were with me. When I didn’t answer, he nodded repeatedly. “So that shit about having faith and that it would work out was you basically telling me what was going on.”

“Brix, Jakari told me about it at the diner after you left. Yes, I knew. I also knew about the meeting and that they would most likely handle it. What’s wrong with accepting help?”

“Nothing is wrong with help unless somebody betrays your loyalty to get it for you. You didn’t ask for it, but you definitely encouraged it. I’m a man, Jess. I don’t need your influence to take care of my shit. Your uncle even mentioned that one of the reasons they were helping me was because of my interest in you!”

I was so angry my nose was twitching like a growling dog. “You know what? Don’t accept it then. You and your mother can move out and live on the fucking street then, Brix. Fuck outta here with that shit. If you too proud to accept help, then you aren’t the one for me like I thought. Thank you for showing me that shit early on.”

“If you can’t respect me as a man, then maybe you’re right.”

“Nigga, fuck you.”

That hurt me to my heart to talk to him that way. He was tripping. I had nothing to do with that shit. I walked away, and he allowed me to do so. I got in my car and burned off out of the gravel driveway, probably throwing rocks in my wake.Where is the love?I was fucking right. Love avoided me. He just told me he loved me last night. I knew he meant he was in love with me, but this shit today wasn’t love.

When I got back to the house, I went straight to the stairs as my mama and Carter stared at me. When I got to the room, I pulled out the sexiest dress I had then grabbed my phone.Let’s go to the hip hop club in Beaumont.

We rarely went to that shit because the majority of the crowd was younger. My phone started going off back-to-back.

Nesha:(Soldier Boy meme) The hip hop club!

Decaurey: Who done fucked wit’cho ass?

Jakari: I got a feeling. Jess, don’t be naked.

Nesha: Damn, like that Jakari? She that mad?

Jakari: If it’s about what I think it might be, hell yeah.

Decaurey: See, she gon’ have me getting kicked out the club for fighting.

Nesha: LOL! Nigga, you ain’t gon’ be fighting.

I rolled my eyes and put my phone on the dresser then sat on the bed. I lay down and stared at the ceiling then curled into the fetal position. My core was struggling. I wanted to lay in bed the rest of the day and then hit the road to go home tomorrow. I was so disgusted. Here I was, about to choose Brixton over Nate. Maybe I was just meant to be single for the rest of my life. Love wasn’t meant for me.

Ain’t no man want a woman that’s aggressive. You sit there and shut up. He handles the business of the house. Your job is to make sure it’s clean and that he has a meal cooked after he’s worked a long day. All that back talk is what got you slapped. I will beat that shit right out of you, so you best get it together, Jessica. I mean it.

Joseph’s words to me the first time he slapped me in the face had come back to memory and haunted me. Apparently, he was right. The men in my life weren’t shit. I was the problem. I got up and grabbed my phone to send a text to Decklan. I closed my eyes for a moment, then sent it.Are you still in town?

Hey, Jess. Yes. I’m leaving Sunday.

Meet me at Aunt Tiff’s house tomorrow afternoon around three to ride.

Really? Okay.

I brought the phone with me to the bed as someone knocked on the door. “Come in.”

Tyeis walked through the door, and my mama was right behind her. Neither of them said a word. My mama got in bed with me and held me in her arms like she used to do when I was little. Tyeis sat on the chair in the corner and allowed tears to fall from her eyes as she watched me. I assumed her tears were because she could feel my pain. She’d never seen me this way… feeling so broken. It stayed quiet for a while. I hadn’t dropped a tear. The old Jessica that had tried to resurface after connecting with Brix was gone. I was back to normal again, but I wasn’t really happy about it.

I swallowed hard then said, “I’m okay, Mama.”

“Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m sure, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

I pulled away from her and got out of the bed to go start the shower. We would be leaving in a couple of hours, and I needed to get ready. I didn’t want to be rushed, so it was best that I started now. I closed the door to the bathroom and messaged Nate.Hope you’re having a great day. Can’t wait to see you Tuesday.

I was just thinking about you. I’m in Miami about to put this work in. I wish you were here with me. I miss you.

I smiled slightly then responded.I miss you too. Good luck tonight.