Page 92 of Dan.
Andries tips his entire whiskey back in one drink and sits the glass down on the side table. “Finish yours too. You might need it.”
I sit the glass aside, stomach churning now, unable to take another sip. “No. Just get on with it.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose before speaking. “Dan, I love my sister, but I don’t think she has your best interests in mind. Elise can’t help but manipulate people, it’s what she’s always done, and I think she’s manipulating you right now. Has she told you that she loves you?”
I swallow hard. “No, but––”
“She hasn’t, and I don’t think that she does, Dan. Look.”
Pulling out his phone, Andries scrolls for a second before handing it to me. As soon as I look at the screen my heart falls to my feet. All I can mutter is, “What the hell..?”
“You didn’t even know Johan was staying the weekend at my family’s estate, did you?” he asks, laying his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Dan.”
“Who sent you these pictures?” I ask, throat tight as my gaze continues fixed on Johan and Elise’s selfie. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so betrayed.
“Johan himself, of course,” Andries says. “I thought it was a weird thing to do, but it makes sense now. He must still be trying to get her back or something, and I bet he was sure I’d tell you what was going on.”
I’m not angry at Andries, but I can’t sit in this chair and be still any longer. I take my friend’s advice from earlier, down the abrasive whiskey in one gulp, and storm off the terrace, even as the straight hit of alcohol makes my head start to spin and my stomach burn. I hear Andries calling after me, and as I reach the front door and burst into the hallway, I run directly into Robin returning from his phone call, who looks shocked to see me moving with such purpose.
“Hey, you okay?” I hear the other man ask, but I just hold up a hand in acknowledgment as I rush past him, jamming the elevator button with my finger as if that will make it arrive faster.
I feel as though I’ve been punched in the gut and all the air has been knocked out of me. It’s hard to breathe, and I barely see the street in front of me as I burst back out into the night air. All I see is Elise and Johan, laughing in the gardens of her family estate in the picture Andries just showed me.
Of course, I drove here myself, and I palm the keys out of my pocket, annoyed that I’m too emotional right now to feel comfortable driving my vintage Ferrari home. The last thing I need is a broken heart and a crashed car.
Before I can call an Uber, I hear the door open behind me, and then Andries is there at my side, looking stricken and slightly out of breath from chasing me down.
“I'm so sorry,” he utters as he wraps an arm around me. “I know that wasn't what you wanted to hear, but I thought you should know.”
Andries, after all the difficulties he put between El and me in the beginning, is an easy target to take my anger out on, but I stop myself before I can rage at him. We are all trying to be better, and that includes me, too. I take a deep breath before speaking. “I appreciate your honesty,” I tell him sincerely. “That's what best friends do. They tell each other the truth, no matter how painful it is.”
“Doesn’t mean it feels good,” he points out. “It isn’t fair to either of us that Elise put us in this position. Making me be the one to hurt you instead of doing it herself.”
I lean against the wall of the building and take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “You knew beforehand that she’s never told me she loves me, huh?” I ask Andries, my eyes searching the answer on his face. “She’s shown me that she cares about me, but it's like she's incapable of saying those three little words. And yet she so easily said them to Johan. You’re probably right… it’s not love, it’s just manipulation.”
Andries exhales slowly, leaning on the wall next to me. “You know I’ve always been against this relationship you two have. I can’t speak for my sister, but we both know she’s terrible about being honest with herself and others, and that kind of dishonestly would have made you miserable. Maybe she loves you, maybe she doesn’t, but one thing is for certain. I’d much rather her ruin Johan’s life than yours.”
I laugh, but it’s hollow. “Really? I was beginning to think you liked Johan more than me. You sure were obsessed with him in Capri.”
Andries winces. “We were all drinking a lot, okay? And emotions were running high. Give me a break.”
I know he’s trying to make light of things, but I can’t bring myself to do the same. We stay in silence for a few long minutes, before Andries tells me he’ll call me a car if I want to go home, and that he’ll have his family valet bring my car back to my place later. I agree, shaking my best friend's hand and thanking him again for his honesty, however brutal it may be, and I climb into the Uber when it arrives, desperate to be home and alone with my thoughts.
I feel heartbroken, betrayed, and naive all at once. The thought of Elise inviting Johan to stay with her family and spending the entire weekend with him is like a knife twisting in my chest.
Would she really be so dishonest with me, or did I just miss it when she mentioned her ex would be staying over? There had been mention of him visiting her home estate for dinner while we were all in Capri, but I never expected it to happen so fast and so secretly. I can’t shake the feeling that something isn't right, so I start scrolling through my messages with Elise, rereading every single one, searching for any indication that she had intended to have Johan spend the weekend at her parents’ estate. But there’s nothing, not a single mention.
Once home, I hand my jacket to my maid and go immediately to bed, not even bothering to shower before I strip my clothes off and climb beneath the sheets. I start to question everything about our relationship and whether I ever really knew Elise at all. The memories of the past start to flood my mind and I can't help but think about the invitation to England that she had hidden from me. It all feels too familiar like history is repeating itself.
I know I need to talk to Elise about this, but I also don't want to jump to conclusions. So I make the decision to wait until Monday to see if she will openly tell me about Johan's weekend at her parents’ estate. I can only hope that she will be honest with me and that we can work through this together. But as I lie in bed, sleep evades me as my mind races with uncertainty and doubt. I roll towards the large windows, the light of the city visible through even the closed curtains, and war with myself. I want to call her right now, but I can’t. I have to give her the chance to be truthful with me on her own, even if it’s killing me to sit here knowing she’s with him.
If she does tell me, will it make any difference? It will just be her asking for forgiveness instead of being honest with me in the beginning, and no matter what, that fact has damaged what we have together. All I can really hope for is that my love for her, and the love I think she has for me, will be enough to fix this mistake of hers.
31
Dan
I’ve surprisedmyself by not contacting Elise for three entire days now, waiting for her to be the first one to reach out, but to my dismay she never does. Each hour that passes makes me more frustrated and feel even more betrayed, but I hold my ground. I’m not going to be the one to contact her first, no matter how much it’s bugging me. If I mean anything to her, she’ll call eventually.