Page 4 of Bad Reputation
I shrug, blushing. “Yeah, I was. I mean, it wasn’t intentional for the last couple of years. But when I started to get ‘I’m attracted to you’ signals off of him, I sort of… I really, really wanted to make it happen.”
“Girllllll,” she says, excited. “I can’t believe you’ve had a thing for him for so long! And I can’t believe I didn’t know about it.”
I bite my lip and shrug a shoulder. “Doesn’t matter, because of Asher.”
She sits up a little straighter. “Asher? What does he have to do with anything?”
“Asher made up this stupid rule ages ago. He told Jameson and Forest and Gunnar not to sleep with me. Actually, he’s told Gunnar several times to back off, because Gunnar is…” I search for the right word.
“A slut?” Evie’s mouth curls upward.
“Yeah. Anyway, that rule has existed since I got boobs, I think. Because clearly I can’t make my own decisions about who I sleep with. If it wasn’t for the rule, I would just fall into bed with every guy I see!” I say sarcastically. “Meanwhile, Asher has no rules about who he can sleep with or date.”
Evie looks down at the table, tracing something absentmindedly. “That doesn’t sound fair.”
“Thank you! It isn’t.” I sit back, trying to reach for my righteous indignation, but it’s not there. I’m too busy being sad for any other emotions to register.
“So… are you ready to talk about the other thing yet?” she says gently.
My heart starts hammering just thinking about it. I give her a slow nod. “Yeah, I think so. I just… I’m on an IUD.”
She cocks her head. “And yet you think you might be pregnant?”
My eyes fill with tears again. I feel pathetic. “Yes.”
Evie considers me for a minute. “I’m assuming that you don’t have happy feelings about that.”
I take a sip of my tea, to keep myself calm. Then I take a breath. “I mean, I am very conflicted about it. On one hand, the fifteen year old version of myself is like… squealing with excitement. I’ve loved this guy for half my life, and now I’m going to have his baby? Like… I couldn’t have imagined a better outcome, in the most selfish way.”
She purses her lips. “And on the other hand?”
“Well, the downsides are twofold. First, I doubt that fifteen year old girl would be particularly happy that Jameson dumped me. And second, I’m in frigging law school! During the year, I study and go to school, from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. That’s it. I don’t have time for anything else. Adding a baby to that is like… a recipe for disaster.”
“Definitely. I mean, you could handle it, but you wouldn’t want to.”
“Exactly. But… there is still a part of me that is like, going baby crazy. I’m imagining how amazing our child would be. Like have you ever seen baby shoes? Because they are so freaking cute. And I can see us when she’s a little older. Me, dressing her up for her first ballet recital…”
I let the conversation lapse for a minute, daydreaming of pink hair bows. In my mind, Jameson is also there, because I think if he knew I was pregnant, he would insist on marrying me.
I squint, speculative. Is that crazy? I’m pretty sure that is crazy.
She clears her throat. “I mean, that does sound terribly nice.”
I shake my head. “I think that I’m massively oversimplifying a very complex situation. If I were to be pregnant, and I were to decide to keep it, things between Jameson and I would be… well, complex is a nice way of saying it.”
“Wellllll…” she says. “You don’t even know if you have to worry about it. And there’s a pretty easy way to figure out whether you do. So… you know, first things first.”
I sigh. “We don’t even have any pregnancy tests here. I checked.”
She stands up. “We totally do. I know where they are. Now make sure you drink the rest of that tea, it’s a little bit of a diuretic.”
I narrow my eyes at her, but she’s already flouncing out of the room. I down the rest of the mug of quickly cooling tea, then head into the hallway. She meets me, coming out of her room.
“Here,” she says, handing me the plastic wrapped testing stick. “You pee on the end, then wait two minutes. Then we’ll know what we’re dealing with.”
I take the test from her, my brow furrowing. “How does it work? I mean, how do we know if it’s right?”
“Those things are like 95% accurate. Just pee on the end, and then we’ll see what we have to be worried about.”