Page 19 of Dance for Me
Note to self: temper tantrums burn her out.
“Are we calmer now?” he asked quietly.
Heavy blue eyes rolled toward him, still a bit pissed off but otherwise tired. “Yes, sorry.” Her tone was respectful, her attitude on the other end of the crazy scale. “Liam was bullied a lot when he announced he was bi. Idiots like Jacob who don’t, won’t, can’t see the brilliant mind in the man. They don’t take the time to get to know him. He’s not a pervert.”
“No,” Braun agreed. “I know he’s not.”
“I got so mad I think I fried my brain.” She pressed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “I hate losing my shit like that. It takes so much effort to lock it all down again, but this was worth it. Would’ve been worth it,” she corrected with a scowl, “if someone hadn’t interfered.”
Confident she wasn’t going to go ballistic on anyone now, Braun pushed off the jamb and sat behind his desk. “I interfered because you disobeyed a direct order. That’s something we need to discuss before you go back out.”
“He made me mad.”
Yes, his shins could attest to that fact. “Gathered that, little one. But when a Dominant gives you an order under this roof that pertains to your health and safety—whether you identify as submissive or not—you obey it. When in Avalon, you become my responsibility. That responsibility extends out to all the Masters, Mistresses, and monitors when I’m not within sight. Are we clear on that, Boadicea?”
Now she looked contrite, and her eyes turned to shining blue pools of apology. “I didn’t see it that way, but I can see where you’re coming from, yes. I didn’t actually disobey you willfully. When he started spouting that shit about Liam being diseased and infecting people, my control just winged out of my hands.”
“Understandably.”
Bodie sighed and sadness blossomed around her eyes. “How much trouble am I in?”
How much indeed, Braun wondered. “Do you really need me to list the infractions, Bodie? Because we might be here for a while.” He lifted his hand and checked points off on his fingers. “Disobeying a direct order. Hitting a Dominant. Putting your safety in danger. Using bad language. Is that enough for you?”
Her wince was adorable. “I’m thinking that’s a lot of trouble.”
“Yeah, darlin’, that’s a lot. Had you been in a dynamic with a Dominant, you’d certainly be feeling the consequences.” When her brow creased, Braun leaned back in his chair. “BDSM isn’t just about someone whaling on another person for shits and giggles, Bodie. There are rules, and if those rules are broken, there are ramifications.”
“Ramifications like shouting and hitting?”
Oh boy, the girl had the scariest misconceptions about the lifestyle. Well, maybe it was time she learned something new. “Punishments aren’t fun for either party, Bodie. Trust me, as a Dominant for nearly twenty years, I take no pleasure in disciplining a subbie for bad behavior.”
“So why do you do it?”
At least she was asking sensible questions, he mused. Engaging that smart brain and thinking over his answers rather than dismissing them through fear. “For me, personally, I take pleasure and pride in guiding a submissive. Teaching her how to explore herself and watching her flourish. Discipline is part of that. If I give an order, I want it done. There’s nothing more enjoyable than knowing another person has the faith in me to take care of them, to offer themselves to me to do whatever I want with them. That takes balls of steel.”
“Could you do it? Submit?”
Braun laughed and shook his head. “God, no. My balls are tough but they’re nowhere near steel. Fortunately, I was meant to be a Dom. Submissives demand a certain level of respect. To kneel in front of someone and surrender themselves is a beautiful thing, a brave thing. They have all the power, Bodie,” he told her gently when she stared at him with those huge blue eyes. “Any scene can be stopped with a single word.”
Well look at that. Something stirred behind her eyes. Was it too much to hope her submissive side was slowly raising its head and peeking at him? He’d piqued her inquisitiveness, that was for sure, but would she have the courage to acknowledge her inner sub?
Bodie chewed her lip. Knotted her fingers into a pretzel. Squirmed in the chair until it squeaked in protest. Finally, she exhaled shakily and said, “What...consequences are there for breaking your rules?”
“Are you offering to pay penance?” Braun kept his voice easy but firm.
“This is your club. I broke your rules. There are laws out there,” she muttered, gesturing with her hand toward the world outside his walls, “and if you break the law, you go to prison. Maybe I don’t understand what goes on in here, but if I’m going to work for you, I should be held accountable for my actions.”
In his forty years, Braun had never been so taken aback by a moral compass. In his experience, ninety-five percent of people would do anything—anything—to avoid accountability for their decisions. Yet this complex young woman, with the weight of the world on her slim shoulders, took full responsibility for hers.
She really was a world apart from any other sub he’d known.
Eyes on hers to watch her reaction, he reached down to the second drawer of his desk and opened it. Her nostrils flared, her body stiffening with uncertainty, and he could read her thoughts like a book spread open in his palms.
What’s he doing? Have I done the right thing? Is he going to hurt me?
The writing pad clapped down on the desk in front of her and he tossed a pen on top of it. When she blinked in surprise, mouth slightly agape, he damn near grinned before he remembered he was supposed to be coming across as authoritative and stern. This was a punishment, after all; just not the one she feared.
“Thirty minutes on the clock,” he told her, calculating the time before the club got into swing. He was praying Loki and Atticus had already arrived with what he’d asked them to bring, and that they were busy setting it up where he’d requested. Those two Masters could assemble an Ikea bookcase in ten minutes, so he wasn’t too concerned. “I want you to write If Master Braun gives me an order, I will obey it. Over and over again until your thirty minutes are up.”