Page 71 of Ruled Out

“Go get the girl, Knox,” he says with a wink before turning and shutting the door, leaving me speechless.

THIRTY

KNOX

I've been pacing back and forth since Dan left half an hour ago, trying to plan out what I’m going to say to Phoebe. I’m not sure how I’m going to get her back, but I’m not going to give up without a fight. I refuse to let her walk out of my life without so much as a conversation. I made her a promise I wouldn't leave again, and she needs to know I wasn't bluffing.I need her to know I’m so ridiculously in love with her.

While I was frantically pacing barefoot across my hardwood floors, I called Coral Cove Community College and confirmed an interview for next week. If we’re going to attempt to make this work, I have to get serious about finding another job. No more “we’ll talk about it later” or “we have until May.” Phoebe was right; time isn't in our favor. Things aren’t going to magically fall into place. I have to show her how bad I want this.

“Every chance you don’t take is a missed opportunity. When you have the opportunity to live like you’re dying, you stop taking things for granted.”

Dan’s words echo through my mind on repeat. They made me realize I’ve been holding back because of the “what ifs”, because I’ve always been terrified of change. My career used to mean everything to me, but that was before I met Phoebe. Now, what terrifies me the most is looking back years from now and living with the regret of giving up the love of my life.

My head turns towards the window when I hear light sprinkles hitting the glass. The rain is just starting to come down as the palm trees softly sway in the autumn breeze. It’s been a while since we’ve had rain or even cool weather for that matter. I usually enjoy the change of seasons, but the cold only reminds me of my time in New York in Phoebe. It’s crazy how that trip feels like it was ages ago. So much has happened since then.

Thinking about our trip has my mind replaying all our most memorable moments. I think about how I was instantly drawn to her when we first locked eyes in Sunset Café. I had never been able to feel another person's stare before her. I think about the godawful day when I ran Phoebe past her breaking point, the way her small body felt in my arms as I carried her out to my Jeep. I think about the way she barged into my office and called me out on my shit after our first kiss.God, that was single handedly one of the hottest moments of my life.

I think about how beautiful she looked when I woke up next to her for the first time in my bed. I think about the first time we slept together, how she felt like coming home. I think about how my family instantly fell in love with her. I have a string of texts from Willow raving about how Phoebe’s her new best friend. I pull up the texts every so often to re-read them because they make me so damn happy. I finally found my missing piece, and I’m not letting her go.

I’m done waiting. I promised Phoebe I would never give up, and I fucking meant it.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I tap on Phoebe’s contact and pace back and forth while I wait, listening to the repetitive rings. I get her voicemail the first time and instantly try calling again. When I get it a second time, I chuck my phone across the room and run my hands through my hair.

“Fuck it,” I mutter under my breath as I walk towards the front door and swipe my keys from the wall.I’m going to her.Every second I let pass is one I risk losing her for good. My heart drops to my toes when I sling my door open and see a white Mercedes screeching to a halt in my driveway. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected to see her here.

A rain-drenched Phoebe jumps out of the driver's seat and onto the damp pavement, her chest moving with heavy breaths like she’s been in a rush. Rain slides down her smooth skin, disappearing into the white sweater she’s wearing. Stands of her golden hair are plastered across her cheeks and neck, making me want to brush them away just to give me an excuse to touch her. Her long eyelashes are damp from the rain, shading her icy-blue eyes. She looks thinner than when I saw her a few days ago and small bags are cradling her eyes.Has she been eating or sleeping?I sure as hell haven’t.

She still looks achingly beautiful. She always looks so beautiful to me. My heart’s practically beating out of my chest at just the sight of her.

“Phoebe.” I manage a whisper as I take her in. I still can’t believe she’s standing outside my house.

“Knox,” she says my name through labored breaths as the rain really starts to pour down.

Raindrops cascade into my foyer from the open door.I’m in such a state of shock.I’ve been standing here like a statue while she’s drenched. Stepping out into the downpour, I close the door behind me and stride towards her. The logical thing to do would be to ask her to come inside, but my brain isn't operating properly right now. I don’t care that it’s a tsunami outside, all I see is her. I just need my girl.

“Bee, I was just trying to call you,” I rasp as my eyes trail down her body. We’re standing in the middle of my driveway, only a few feet separating us.

“I’m sorry. I honestly don’t even know where my phone is. I came straight to you,” she replies, blinking away water from her lashes. A few seconds pass before she continues.

“Knox…” She trails off, chewing on her full lip. “We need to talk.”

“I know… Phoebe, I’m so s-”

“Please,” she says, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Let me start.” I slowly nod my head at her request.

“First, since youaremy coach, I need to inform you that I’m quitting the team, effective today. I didn't know if I would need to turn in my training gear or not, so I went ahead and brought everything with me,” she adds, handing me a plastic bag with her training clothes.

“Phoebe…you don’t have to do this,” I reply in shock, grabbing the damp bag and setting it on the pavement.

“Yes, I do,” she says confidently.

“Why? Because of me? Don’t tell me you’re quitting because of me. I’ll never forgive myself if you do. You’ve dedicated so many years of your life to this sport, Phoebe. It would kill me to know I’m the reason you gave it up. I’m planning to leave CCU as soon as another job opens up, and then you’ll never have to share the field with me again. I actually have an interview scheduled for next week,” I blurt out, running my hands through my drenched hair.

“No, I’m doing this for me,” she clarifies. “You know I’ve been miserable for months. You’ve seen it on the field every day. I finally had to admit that I don’t love playing anymore. It just feels like a chore. I promised myself that I wouldn't let them take anything else away from me. I would start living forme.You know as well as I do that being a college athlete is a full-time job. Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to have time to travel, join organizations on campus, get a real job for the first time in my life, and find hobbies I enjoy. I’m just so tired of living my life for people who don’t give a shit about me. So, I’ve made my decision.” She exhales deeply, taking a moment to steady herself. “I’m not changing my mind. I won’t be at practice this week.”

“What about your scholarship? Are you going to be able to stay at CCU?” I ask in shock.

“I’ll get a part-time job and take out a loan like most students do. Thankfully, I’ve kept my grades up.” She nods like she’s thought all this out at length.