Page 32 of Montana Silence

This time, I wanted him to come inside, though I wasn’t sure what good it would do. I was broken. End of story. Soon enough, he was going to realize I wasn’t worth it.

He waited a step behind me while I unlocked the door then followed me inside. I shut it behind him and locked it. My breath immediately released. Here, I was safe. I had the cameras, the doors were locked, and Liam was with me.

“They called you?” I asked, going to the kitchen and pouring myself a glass of water.

“Jude did. Daniel suspected, like I said. I didn’t tell them.”

I drank all the water in one go. After things like this, you didn’t realize how thirsty you were. “I wouldn’t have minded if you had.”

“Sure about that?” His voice was closer now. I kept leaning on the counter, and he touched my shoulder. When I didn’t pull away, he stepped up and wrapped me in a hug.

“I’m sure,” I whispered. “I’m just embarrassed they had to see that.”

“You don’t—”

“I know.” I sighed, my throat nearly closing up to stop myself from speaking. “I know I don’t need to be. But I’m still there.”

Liam leaned his chin over my shoulder, the simple gesture reminding me how comfortable this was. I didn’t want to use Liam as a crutch, but he made me feel so safe, it was hard not to crave it all the time. “Come sit with me,” he said. “Tell me what happened.”

On the couch, he tucked me into his side, and I enjoyed the casual way he could touch me and how I wasn’t afraid of it. I did tell him what happened. Going to Arizona terrified me, and even though I’d said I would go, deep down, I’d been hoping for a way out. That clearly didn’t happen.

“You can always email your lawyer and tell her you changed your mind,” Liam said. “Nothing will happen to you if you decide not to go.”

“You’re right.” I turned my face into his shoulder. “I know you’re right. But the reasons I agreed in the first place are still true. If he gets out, and he tries again… If anyone gets hurt because I couldn’t handle it, I wouldn’t know how to live with myself.”

All Liam did was reach around and stroke my other arm with his hand, knowing I wasn’t done yet.

“Rayne made sure I know it’s not my responsibility, and I do know. I promise.” Those words sounded strangled. “But I can’t let it happen to anyone else. At the same time, I can’t imagine going into that room and having him look at me. Wondering if he’s been imagining what he could have done if he hadn’t been arrested.”

Liam guided me so I was leaning farther back on the couch and he could see my face. “He can’t touch you, Mara. I won’t—none of us will—let that happen. And I’m still going with you, if you want me.”

I did.

“It makes me sick,” I said. “Having to do it. But I think it will make me sicker not to go.”

“Then we’ll go,” he said. “And you’ll be incredible.”

Incredible wasn’t the word I’d use to describe myself, but hearing it from him? I’d listen to that all day long.

Liam leaned in and brushed my mouth with his. A kiss not leading anywhere, but meant to soothe and comfort. I wanted to be ready for more with him. My body was definitely already there, yearning and desire rising whenever he was close.

My mind? It was almost there. And I loved Liam more because he wasn’t rushing us toward anything. If anything, he was going slower than I might need. It made me smile despite the kiss.

“There you are,” he whispered before kissing me again.

“You bring me back,” I say.

It was his turn to smile. “And I always will. Promise.”

Chapter11

Liam

The tripto Phoenix was smooth and easy, but I knew this was the simplest part of the journey.

From early this morning when Mara and I had to drive down to Missoula once again for the flight, she’d barely said a word, and I hadn’t expected her to. I would always encourage her to speak, but she needed her words for the hearing tomorrow far more than I needed them today.

Mara didn’t believe I was willing to do whatever she needed. Not only willing, buthappy. This was the perfect time to show it.