Page 38 of Montana Silence

In front of me, I saw only a spiral aiming downward. I needed everything and nothing. But I couldn’t be alone, even if I couldn’t speak. Of all the people in the world, I knew Liam would never shame me for not being able to speak. But by the same token, talking was easier with him.

Forcing myself up off the bed, I changed into the pajamas I’d brought with me before approaching the door. I shouldn’t be nervous about it. This wasLiam. But I was nervous about everything right now.

I knocked on the door and heard the gentle shuffle of movement on the other side. Liam opened his side and smiled. He was comfortable now too, in sweats and a T-shirt, and no part of him looked disappointed or upset.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” My throat felt scratchy, and I wrapped my arms around myself.

Liam stuck his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, and I could look at him like this forever. Just like he’d said to me last night. I’d barely been able to think or breathe, and I’d been confused when I’d woken up in my hotel room instead of his.

He took a step forward and looked at me. “Do you feel like talking?”

I shook my head.

“You want options?”

Relief swept through me.

“Okay.” He came and wrapped his arms around me. “One tap if you want to get food. Two taps if you just want to relax for a while. Three taps if you want me to distract you with something, whether it’s a movie or anything else.”

One breath in, and one breath out. I tapped twice.

“Okay. We can do that,” he said. And without another word, he picked me up and carried me to my bed, still freshly made from housekeeping.

Liam curved himself behind me, one arm around my waist. “Is this all right?”

I nodded. Having Liam close was calming, and I curled in on myself further.

Slowly, my body relaxed. Tension released I hadn’t even realized I was clinging to.

“If you don’t want to talk, it’s all right,” he said quietly. “But I still want you to know how proud I am of you.”

A sob broke out of me. “Don’t be.”

“Why not?”

“I ruined it,” I whispered. “I couldn’t get him out of my head. Everything he did—I needed to tell them, and I failed.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

I closed my eyes. “I’m not sure there’s another way to see it.”

“Will you let me seeyou?”

Slowly, I turned in his arms until I was facing him. I couldn’t meet his eyes. But he could see me.

“The way I see it,” he said. “Is you came down here to do the right thing. You came down here to make sure no one else had to go through anything like what you went through. You didn’t want to, but you still did it, because protecting other people was more important to you than anything else.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him, and he was toying with you.”

“Was he?”

“Yes.” Liam’s voice was firm. “If the panel can’t see that, they shouldn’t be allowed to make those kinds of decisions. Good behavior or not, he was out of line. I saw the way he looked at you.”

“Well,” I sighed. “It worked. He won.”

“We don’t know that yet. They’re going to review things. You couldn’t see yourself, but I did. Nothing about you said you were faking it, Mara. The only thing there was to see was a woman who hadtoo muchto say.”