Page 32 of Sexploitation
She might have a point. I have been a little moody since that shit with Parker went down. It killed me not to run after her that night, and I’ve been so close to showing up on her doorstep several times since then. But she was right. She’s been telling me from the beginning that she didn’t want anything serious.
Stop trying to make this into something it’s not. I never needed or wanted your love. You can keep that shit.
“Go on, go sit down,” Krista says, pushing me out from behind the bar. “I’m going to pour you a whiskey, and then you’re going to talk.”
She has a tumbler of whiskey waiting on me by the time I take a seat at the bar, relieving my tired body. Sleeping hasn’t been easy these past couple of weeks, either. I tip the glass in thanks and throw back the amber liquor, welcoming the slight burn as it rolls down my throat.
“All right, old man. What or who put the bee in your bonnet?”
I sigh and scoot the glass back toward her, waiting for her to pour me another before answering. “Parker ended shit. Or I did. Hell, I don’t even know anymore.”
“Fuck. Okay.” She grabs another glass from under the bar and pours a finger for herself. “Why don’t you start with telling me what exactly happened?”
I try to wash the lump in my throat down with a sip of my drink. “She kind of freaked out when I invited her to spend Christmas with me and Grace, then I—”
“Whoa. Wait. You asked her to spend Christmas with you?” Her wide eyes flare as I slowly nod. “That’s kind of a huge deal. Of course, she freaked out. I mean... you do realize this is the same woman who was too afraid to commit to more than one date not that long ago, right?”
I broke my rules for you. And that’s on me.
My stomach twists as her words echo in my head. “Yes. I’m well aware,” I grit. “But things have been great between us. And she told me she’d never really had a real Christmas with family before. I thought it would be nice.”
That’s mostly true. But I knew she would be hesitant at first, that it would take a little convincing on my part. That’s why I waited so long to ask her. I thought maybe if I found the right moment...
“Wow...” She blows out a long breath and shakes her head before polishing off her drink. “You so don’t get it, do you?”
My jaw ticks as I rub at the tension in my shoulder. “Well, why don’t you explain it to me then, smartass?”
“You wanted to give her something she’s never had, without any guarantees of the future.”
“There are no guarantees in life. For any of us.” She quirks an eyebrow as my voice raises, her lips puckering. “Molly was supposed to be my forever. But life is short and unforgiving. And I refuse to simply let it pass me by.”
“Jesus. It gets worse, doesn’t it?” She sighs, pouring us both another one. “What did you do when she freaked out?”
“I told her that I loved her.”
“Holy shit,” she breathes. “Are you serious?”
I take another sip and nod, my gaze avoiding hers. “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. It just kind of slipped. But once it was out there... she needed to know I meant it.”
“And I’m guessing you didn’t get the reaction you were hoping for.”
I can’t be tricked into love.
“Nope. Things really spiraled from there. Then I told her I was done chasing her, and she left. Haven’t heard from her since.”
“Elias...” She props her elbows on the bar and leans down, forcing me to meet her stare. “I want you to know that I’m saying this as your friend. But... you’re an idiot.”
“Gee, thanks.” I huff out a laugh and stand up. “So glad we had this talk.”
“Seriously, Elias.” She follows me as I walk to the end of the bar, stepping in front of me when I try to head for my office. “This is clearly a woman with serious trust issues. Which probably started with shit parents. She needs people in her life who will be there for her, no matter what. If you really love her, if you’re really all in, you need to set your pride and your feelings aside here.”
My stomach knots with guilt, dread settling on my chest. Krista is right. I’m a dumbass. I’ve always known who she was. Always known things wouldn’t be easy with her. Love seldom is.
But Parker belongs with me. And she’s worth the fight.
There’s no way I’m letting her go now.
Parker