Page 97 of Secret Squirrel

“Fuck, I didn’t check!” he yelled. “Was I supposed to?”

I would have, but that was me. The last thing he needed was a dead woman in the bed beside him.

“Fuck, this is so bad. Duke, you gotta help me out.”

I snorted in laughter as I parked in my driveway and headed inside. “I can’t help you out of this one. You’re fucked.”

“Why?”

“Why do people normally go to Vegas?”

“To play poker!” he shouted.

“Bowie, I want you to very calmly look down at your left hand.”

“Oh shit,” he whispered. “I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. Just look quickly.”

“But what if—”

“Then it won’t change just because you looked. He was quiet for so long, I was afraid to ask. “What do you see?”

I could imagine him looking down at his hand, just now realizing he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned. I heard the phone clatter to the floor and then the sound of vomiting. I grimaced and walked over to the closet, grabbing a bag and then loading it with clothes. It would take a minute to get over the shock. Whether or not he was here, I still needed to go look for Theo. That boy couldn’t wait, but vehicles could.

“Are you done?” I asked after a few moments of silence.

“Maybe. Fuck, I have a wedding ring on my finger.”

“Yeah,” I drawled.

“No, Duke. Like, an actual fucking wedding band. Do you know what this means?”

“That you’re married.”

“Not just married. I’m married to Carly, the woman you’re boning.”

“I’m not boning her. I haven’t been for a while.”

“A few days is not a while,” he retorted. “God, my head is killing me. I don’t even remember coming out here.”

“I can’t believe you married her. I wonder if she remembers anything.”

“She’s still passed out.”

“Lovely,” I said mockingly. “It sounds like this marriage is off to a great start.”

“I can’t do this. She’s going to want to live with me and support her. I can’t be married to a woman like that!”

I chuckled to myself. It was nice that after the shitty night I had, he could still make me laugh.

“You’re laughing. You’re fucking laughing at me!”

“Well, yeah.”

“Duke, don’t you realize what this means?”