Page 23 of Finding a Melody

“When her house was broken into, she came to me. But then I got to thinking. What if I wasn’t living nearby? Where would she have gone? Who could she turn to? I liked the idea that if she can’t come to me, then she at least has you guys who will be able to take care of her. That you guys would do everything you can to keep her safe. I trust you guys with her because we’ve known each other since we were little kids. And I watched her enough to see how she really is with you. She’s happy and I like seeing her happy. I would rather chop off my arm than take that away from her. She needs it in her life.”

“Damn right she does,” Toby muttered.

I nodded. My thoughts were in the same direction. I wanted her safe and if I couldn’t be the one to do it, then the thought of having one of them available to do it calmed me.

“I’ll think about it,” I said. “I do want to date her. The thought has crossed my mind. But I also know it has crossed everyone’s mind. She’s beautiful. Smart. Kind. Gentle. We’d be fools not to be interested. I want to be closer with her.”

“Me too,” Paxon said.

Toby nodded. “She’s too sweet, like candy. And I wouldn’t be able to handle it if she left us.”

Bryan shook his head. “I’m sorry. I need to think about this. I can’t wrap my head around this. I’m sorry.”

“No rush,” Seth said. “Take all the time you need to think about it. All of you.”

Bryan relaxed at Seth’s words, and his shoulders slumped in relief.

“Now what?” Toby asked. “How do we get her to forgive us?”

I rubbed at my face and closed my eyes. I had gone to a public pool to get in extra swimming practice this week, and I was tired from it. Especially after coming back from the away game. My thoughts felt a bit sluggish. I needed to get home and get some sleep. Besides, Seth gave me way too much to think about.

“Carefully,” I mumbled. “We apologize and talk with her.”

“She’s going to avoid us at school,” Paxon said.

“Then we don’t give her a chance to do it,” Toby said.

Bryan nodded.

We were all in agreement. We were going to make Cadence listen to us tomorrow.

We couldn’t let her walk away from us. Not anymore.

Chapter Eight

Ashamed. That was the emotion I was left feeling after breaking last night.

Ashamed.

We all had secrets for a reason. We didn’t want people to know them because it was like admitting we were messed up or made a big mistake. We only told those we trusted with it, maybe because they had a similar story and could relate to that secret. That was why I had opened up to Justin. I trusted that he’d keep it to himself and let me tell them when I was ready. But I was wrong.

And now I was ashamed. They knew one of my biggest secrets. That I was weak. That I continued to let Lindie hurt me, even put me in a hospital. That I was broken.

I tried to bury myself into the hotel bed, but knew I had to get moving. School couldn’t be skipped. But the idea of having to face the boys made me drag my feet. I didn’t even know how I’d face them. What was I supposed to say to them after yesterday? How was I supposed to feel? Could I just avoid them?

I thought about who they were and quickly dismissed that thought. They weren’t going to let me do that. But it felt like the moment I opened my mouth to say something to them, I was going to scream.

The anger was there still. So was the hurt. Justin had told them. He told them something that should have come from me when I was ready to tell them, if ever. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want their pity or their help, and yet that was what I was going to get from them.

And to make it worse, I just recently told Seth that I liked them and wanted to be better friends with them all. I cared. I hadn’t cared about people in a long time. I always kept to myself, my head down, pushing to make it day to day without snapping.

Then they came into my life and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with them. They were there, always talking and laughing, goofing off, bringing me into their little circle. They liked me, wanted to be around me, and their thoughtfulness warmed my heart. They made me realize I was lonely, not just alone, but lonely. They made me realize I had a hole in my heart and they were the ones with the power to fill it.

They made me realize I was a teenager, not an adult. I shouldn’t have had to become an adult, taking care of bills, making money to support a household, always working and working.

I turned my head into the pillow and screamed.

How was I supposed to face them now? They knew.