Page 70 of Finding a Melody

I stepped aside and let him slip inside.

“Are you feeling better?”

I couldn’t answer him.

“Then I’ll stick around. I’ll be here until I know you don’t need me anymore.”

“Then this is me telling you I don’t need you to stay.”

“And this is me calling you on your bullshit.” He softened his voice. “Your voice says otherwise, Cadie.”

I grimaced when he used my nickname. It had been fine before, because hearing it was a nice reminder of what my dad used to call me, but right now, it was all too raw.

Paxon didn’t seem to notice as he kept talking. “Go make some tea to help your throat. Heck, go take a nice hot bath if you need help relaxing.” His face turned pink as he turned away so I couldn’t see his expression completely. How much did it take him to say that?

I sighed, liking his suggestion. A bath would be really nice. But did he really want to be left alone? Wasn’t I supposed to keep my guests company?

Paxon saw my conflicting thoughts and gave me a small smile. “I’m not a guest. Think of me as an interloper who won’t leave. I don’t need you to entertain me. I’ll just sit here on the couch and when you need me, I’ll still be here.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not here to make things harder on you or awkward. I just want you to know you aren’t alone and you shouldn’t have to be.”

“Okay.” I hesitantly left him, going back upstairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs and listened. There was a soft sigh and then silence. On light feet, I took my time to go back down the stairs, and then peeked into the living room. Paxon had taken off his shoes and was stretched out on the couch, staring at his phone. A moment later, sound came from his phone as he watched something.

I straightened and stepped out from my little hiding spot. He could at least be more comfortable. “The TV does work.”

Paxon jumped into a sitting position, looking a little surprised.

I pointed to the TV. “I have a bunch of streaming options on it if you want to watch a show. And I have an extra charger in the kitchen if you need to plug in your phone.”

“Thanks,” he said.

“Of course,” I mumbled before finally going back up the stairs. When I got to the top, I heard the TV turn on.

The bath ended up being exactly what I needed. Once it was filled, I climbed in and it was like all that heat sucked into my muscles and forced them to relax.

Damn.

The events over the last couple of days, matched with my state of mind, did me in. I did the best I could do, but the tears fell. I tried to pretend they didn’t exist as they rolled down my cheeks and into the water. My chest tightened with all the bubbling emotions that wanted out. It was different than when I cried into my pillow. Then, it was raw and explosive. This time, it was quiet, almost healing.

I was finally accepting the situation even though it had torn me apart. I kept seeing my dad’s handwriting on the envelope. The words on the paper. The emotions that were in such a short letter, but more potent than anything else. The reality of it all.

Hope kindled to life, something that hadn’t been burning in so long. I had his letter. I knew he wanted to reach out to me. And most importantly, I had his address. Nevada. Las Vegas. Of all places, that was the last place I thought he’d go.

To think we both wanted to see each other, but couldn’t reach each other. Now that Lindie was out of the picture, we could reconnect.

Once again, I began to stiffen back up. Dammit.

I grabbed my phone.

Cadence: Not working.

It didn’t take long for Paxon to respond.

Paxon: Music. Don’t make it. Just listen to it. Find your favorite album that really makes you feel and play it. Put on those headphones that are bigger than your head and just tune out the world. Get lost in the music, in the beat, and the lyrics. Don’t think, just feel it inside of you and let yourself go.

Cadence: Okay...