Page 3 of Losing the Rhythm

“Yes.”

“So just to make sure I understand—you are currently emancipated from your mother who had abused you since you were young?” Dr. Arason kept her voice soft as she talked. “And you are currently in the process of healing from the trauma she caused you over the summer. While dealing with that, recently, you were put through another traumatic experience by the Ryder gang, involving guns and violence.”

I swallowed hard. “Put simply, yes.”

“Simply is the last word I would ever use to describe your experiences. You’ve been through a lot, Cadence. By coming to see me, you are already taking control of your life and that is most definitely a massive step. Talking about this with a stranger can’t be easy, and I truly appreciate you giving me the time to listen to you. My job here is to help you process all these different traumatic events that have occurred in your life and find a way for you to cope with them.”

For some reason, her words hit me hard. I didn’t understand why though. It just felt right. I coughed, trying to not break down in front of her. I was already feeling raw. I’d felt scraped to the bone since I was abducted, and it was weird to hear acknowledgement from Dr. Arason.

“Do you mind if I ask you some follow up questions, just so I have a good idea of your support system and lifestyle?”

“Of course,” I croaked out.

The next while was me answering basic questions like who my support network was, about my physical health, medications, current tools I used whenever I had to face my fears and anxiety. Then we dove more into the violence in my life.

By the time we finished the session, my voice was hoarse, I had a card in my hand for our appointment next week, and she’d given me homework to write down my eating and sleeping habits.

Once I got in my car, I just sat there and stared at the steering wheel. I was too exhausted to drive home. And I contemplated even taking a nap.

But then my phone buzzed.

Toby:I’m at Seth’s ready to give you a hug if you need it.

His simple text sent laughter through me and somehow invigorated me. Toby gave good hugs. He called them bear hugs, squeezing me so tight that I swore I wasn’t able to breathe anymore. But they always did the trick, making me feel like everything was all right with the world.

Cadence:I think I’ll take you up on that. I need a really good hug right now.

Toby:Done. Get your cute little ass back here. We’re already warming up so we can give you only the finest of hugs worthy of three Michelin stars.

I smiled as I stared down at his text, trying to imagine how exactly they warmed up to give good hugs. Were they all standing around hugging each other? For some reason that made me giggle. Leave it to Toby to get me smiling even when I felt absolutely gutted.

Cadence:On my way.

Chapter Two

The drive home ended up being quick, her office only about ten minutes away from where I lived. I didn’t even bother parking in my driveway. I hadn’t really stayed at home since the abduction. I’d practically moved into Seth’s spare bedroom, and whenever I expressed my guilt at pretty much being a freeloader, Seth always put me back in my place. And then to nail it in, he’d go out and come back with something girly to add to the room, making it more and more mine.

I’d learned to stop fighting it after three cute stuffed animals, a set of pretty purple curtains, and new bedding. If I kept up, he even threatened to buy a bunch of female clothes to fill the closet. There was no choice but to stop, and besides, I felt safer there than anywhere else. And Seth obviously wanted me there.

Seth’s new black truck sat in the driveway with Bryan’s car behind his. After the destruction of his truck, I’d wanted to help pay for it, but he shut me down so quick I practically got whiplash. His new one was used, but still not that old. It was a very shiny black truck, big enough that I’d need to use the step up on the side to get inside.

I pulled up next to his truck and got out slowly, preparing myself. I enjoyed being with the guys, but they had so much more energy than I had to give. I gathered every ounce I had in me and then went inside. The front door was already unlocked.

Usually, Bebe, Seth’s dog, was the first to greet me. But I barely had time to step through the door before I was wrapped in a tight bear hug. Toby’s scent soothed me instantly, and I wrapped my arms around him, accepting his hug. I took in a deep breath, noting that he’d recently showered, the refreshing scent that seemed to always be around him stronger. There was also a note of something citrus blended in with it that energized me.

It was everything I needed. Absolutely perfect.

“Oh yeah, this was exactly what I needed today,” Toby said, rubbing my back as he finally pulled away enough for me to draw in a breath.

I smiled at him. “Me too.”

Now that there was space between us, I had to give Bebe some attention. He was waiting patiently, so when he saw that I was looking at him, he came over and bumped against my legs, his gentle way of asking for some doggy love. His not so gentle way usually threatened to land me on my ass, so it was nice of him to be considerate this time. Maybe he felt my mood. It always felt like Bebe understood exactly how I felt. He was a rescue from a violent home.

Seth sometimes made me feel I was a rescue from a violent home too. I hadn’t understood a lot about family and friend dynamics until I met him and the rest of the guys. Now I was slowly learning what it meant to be surrounded by people who cared.

“Oh, who is the sweetest creature in the world,” I crooned, bending over and giving Bebe all the attention I could.

“I thought I was?” Seth teased, standing by the entrance into the living room with a big smile. His dark red shirt had his quote of the day in white letters, reading, ‘Sometimes I have to tell myself it’s not worth the jail time.’ As always, I loved it. That one I might try to steal. I was able to only nab two of his shirts, but Seth seemed to have an overabundance of them. Though the way that particular shirt stretched across his muscular chest, I might not steal it. He looked good in it, the dark red complementing his dark skin well.