Page 111 of Until Now
“You know, I’ve never been here.”
“Scusi?” I touch my heart, offended.
“Not a big coffee person, I guess.”
“Shamey, shamey. How can you be a law student and not drink coffee? That defies all logic, Alex.” I giggle when he rolls his eyes. “Well, what’d you get?”
“Just a coffee.”
“Just a plain coffee? You’re doing it wrong! Here,” I hand him my coffee. “May I introduce you to the Iced DV.”
“Of course you have your own drink.” Alex rolls his eyes before he takes a small sip, letting the semi-sweet mixture fill his senses. “Oh wow! This is so good.” He takes another large gulp.
“And now, you owe me another coffee,” I say as he drains the cup.
Watching Alex order two new coffees, I notice how much he looks like his brother, only taller. He fusses with a few pieces of hair that fall into his eyes. He’s overdue for a haircut, his hair now has a small curl at the ends. I barely recognize the boy I met years earlier at the football game. “So, when do you leave?” I ask when he returns.
“Tomorrow.”
“New Year's Day?”
“Yeah, I need to try and get my job back. Then, go into the admin office when they open back up and make sure everything is squared away.”
“You missed quite a lot of time.”
“My professors were understanding, but I’m gonna have to retake a few.”
“You okay with that?”
“Sure, it was worth it. I should be able to still graduate on time, that’s all I really care about.” Alex plays with his straw, his mind wandering somewhere other than our conversation.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Straight to the point, I like it,” Alex sighs. “Well, I guess I’m just trying to understand why you guys won’t even try.”
“Alex…”
“He would stay here, Nina. He can easily get back into Rosecliffe. You guys could finally be together.”
“I want him to go.”
“But, why?”
“He needs to go. He needs to get out of here, experience what the world has to offer.”
“Why not try long distance?”
“Alex,” I sigh. “I cannot be who he needs right now. I’m still building and expanding my own company and I have to help Kai. I’m still developing Michaela and gonna be hiring more people. I just…I can’t offer myself to someone yet.”
Alex stares intently as he swirls the coffee in his cup.
“He deserves to finish school, get his degree. To figure out what he wants in life. I won’t take that from him.” I cover his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “This isn’t me choosing my career over your brother. I would give it up for him, but he’d never let me. And, honestly, I need time. So much has happened in the past six months. I don’t think I can be who he needs me to be, right now. I have a lot to figure out.”
“You are nothing like I thought.” I raise a suspicious brow, but Alex is quick to reassure me. “I just mean, I used to be so in love with you. Well, I guess, the idea of you. I realize, I never really knew who you were. It’s crazy how things worked out.”
“I was not the best person. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and change things. But, then I wouldn’t be who I am. I’m just sorry I never got to know either of you before now.”
“I think it worked out for the best.”