Page 64 of Twisted Hearts

Me

Excuse me?

Eilish

Sorry.

Me

That’s better.

Eilish

Did that text not come through before? I said “no”.

Then she sends me a fuckingwinky facewith its motherfucking tongue poking out. I glare at the little yellow emoji and imagine ripping that fucking tongue right out of its mouth.

Me

I think you might have forgotten the nature of our arrangement. I want you at my house, naked, on all fours on my living room floor, in twenty minutes.

Eilish

I can’t tonight.

What the fuck.

Me

Once again, I’m not sure if you’re remembering our arrangement. Be there in twenty or there will be consequences.

Eilish

LOL. Liek what?

Ruh-row. The tyrant is madddd! Watch out, wrld!

I frown. Her spelling is off. And she’s never “goofy” like this, either in person or over text. Suddenly, it clicks.

Me

Are you drunk?

Eilish

None of ur beeswax. I’m not a surgeon and I’m not on call.

I glare at the screen.

Me

Where are you.

Eilish

night night mister grumpy pants

Me