Page 4 of Falling for Mindy
“To the creeps in stores and on trains,” Hamilton said, raising his longneck for a toast, “may they be publicly humiliated, successfully sued, and fired from their jobs for their repulsive behavior.”
“May they have rocks in their shoes and hemorrhoids at all times,” Drake added.
“Poison ivy on their balls,” Aaron added.
“And never get laid again,” I said, clinking my beer with theirs, “you all may think I’m obsessed with the subject I teach, but you know it’s an important conversation.”
“Fighting for the truth one beer at a time,” Drake laughed.
“I’ll drink to that. Bachelors Club forever,” I said.
“Bachelors Club forever,” they echoed. We downed our beers.
I went and bought the next round. When I got back, they were talking about Drake’s criminal justice courses.
“They opened another section of the intro level yesterday because the roster was too full. They also changed my room assignment.”
“Oh Lord,” I said. “I know how you feel about change.”
Drake rolled his eyes. He was used to us giving him hell about being the ‘old man’ in our club, how he was set in his ways.
“Well, you know what they say about men over the age of forty,” Rick said.
“Erectile dysfunction?” Aaron put in.
“That, too,” Hamilton chimed in.,
“That sucks, man,” Aaron said, “good thing I’m the youngest. There’s time for you all to figure out a way around the advent of turning into an old grouch before I turn forty. I plan to be young forever. I stay in shape, I try new sports, and love to travel. Things look bright for me. No gray hair either.”
Drake ran a hand over his close-cropped hair. I wondered if he was self-conscious or wondering if he was going gray. I never look at his hair so I wouldn’t have noticed unless it all fell out at once. So, I laughed along with Aaron, seeing that Drake was being a good sport.
“I’m not crabby and set in my ways yet, and my dick works just fine. I have references from last weekend if you need proof,” he said, “but I hate the acoustics in the bigger classrooms. I sound like a NASCAR announcer—too cheerful and talking too fast.”
“Is it possible you’re nervous in a bigger room? Larger audience, more attention?” I asked.
“Oh Lord, Kyle’s got his social worker hat on,” Hamilton hooted with laughter. “He’s gonna recommend community resources for your social anxiety now.”
“Laugh all you want, loser,” I chuckled, “but we all know that mental health is not given priority in our society. Especially for men.”
“Get him another drink,” Rick said, “he’ll quit giving a class lecture if he’s a little drunk.”
“You’re not wrong,” I replied. “But no lies were detected. Drake, you can talk to somebody at Campus Health about your anxiety over the room assignment—”
“I’m not nervous, I’m pissed,” Drake said. “I’m not repressed, I’m not scared, I liked things the way they were. I was comfortable, and I don’t like change. I’m not fragile. I’m not gonna cry or some shit like that,” he shook his head.
“So, back to old and cranky?” Hamilton said. “Works for me. But if you need somebody to analyze, you call Kyle and tell him he has to pay for the drinks if he’s gonna social work you.”
“Solid plan, thanks,” Drake said.
“I wasn’t trying to analyze you. You guys are my friends, and if you’re having trouble I want to help,” I said. “I got carried away. I’m sorry.”
“Look at you, all in touch with your feelings,” Rick laughed. They all raised their beers, “To Kyle and his feelings!”
I laughed along with them and clinked my bottle to theirs.
“Don’t take it seriously, man,” Aaron said. “We’re giving you shit. Like we always give each other shit. It’s like you’re off your game tonight. Anything wrong?”
“I don’t think so.”