Page 43 of Falling for Carla

“That is the best-looking charcuterie board I’ve ever seen,” Carla said.

“Thank you. It’s a hobby of mine. A lot of vineyards in the area either stock up on appetizers from a catering service and freeze them or they just offer cheese and crackers and some local fruit. I wanted to elevate the experience and I had fun matching the right ratio of salty and creamy snacks to each wine based on its astringency,” Heather said.

I looked at the wooden cutting board arrayed with meat and cheese and olives and things and thought it looked great, but I didn’t really follow their discussion about blood oranges versus kiwi. I reached for a plate, but Carla took it from me. She leaned over and whispered to Heather, who whisked it away and said she’d be right back. Carla leaned over and put her arm around me. “Just a little surprise,” she said. “Would you pour the first wine?”

I uncorked the first bottle and poured a little into each goblet. She held it to the light and swirled it like a pro while I drank mine down. “It’s good,” I pronounced.

“You say that about all of them!” Carla laughed.

“Because they’re all good,” I teased back. I kissed her lips lightly.

Heather returned and set my plate down. “I’ll be in the office if you two need anything. Feel free to look around outside when you’re finished.”

“Thank you,” we told her. Then I looked at my plate. There was a bowl of nuts on it.

“What is this?” I asked.

“The good parts. The cashews and macadamias and pistachios, all the best ones. Because you used to live on broken peanuts with only one or two good ones, and you deserve the best, Drake. It may seem silly, but I wanted to do something little to tell you how much you mean to me and how you’ve made this one of the best parts of my life, in spite of everything that’s happened.”

I was damn near speechless. She asked Heather to bring me the kind of nuts I used to look forward to on my crappy night shift job when I worked my way through the academy. She remembered something so small that I’d told her about my past and had wanted to give me something special. I covered her hand with mine.

“That was really sweet of you,” I said.

“I told you I watch Hallmark movies. Don’t be surprised if I bust out with some cheesy romantic gestures once in a while,” she said a little shyly. I kissed her softly.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll take your cheesiness. Here, have a nut.” I offered her the bowl as I popped some cashews in my mouth. “Those things are good.”

We ate and drank until we were full and relaxed. Then I took Carla’s hand and led her out the back to look out over the fields. There was a gazebo past the nearest field up on a rise. We strolled between the vines until we reached it. Carla pulled me by the hand until we were standing in the middle of the airy, white structure. The view was beautiful and so was she.

I reached for her hand and then my other hand settled at her waist. “Dance with me,” I said. “I can be cheesy too.”

“It’s not cheesy. It’s so romantic I may swoon.”

“Dance with me instead.”

I pulled her into my arms, and we danced slowly in the shade of the gazebo to the sound of the breeze rustling through the vines and birdsong. I twirled her once, and she spun back into my arms laughing. Our eyes met and I immediately thought that I could marry her right here in that spot, at that moment.

It was a crazy thought, and I wouldn’t say it out loud. No thinking about the future, I reminded myself, and anchored myself back in the present moment. I stroked her cheek and rubbed my lips against hers, coaxing them apart and giving her a kiss that was more full of longing than I meant for it to be. She answered me in kind, her need as strong as my own. We kissed for a few minutes, but things were growing heated as they always did with us and I tore my mouth from hers.

“We should get going,” I said gruffly. “Before I make love to you right here.”

“I think they use it for weddings,” she said, indicating the twinkle lights strung around the top of the gazebo, “so Heather probably wouldn’t want us to, you know, defile it.”

I could tell Carla was trying to make a joke, but when our eyes met, there was something serious in hers that I was afraid to examine. Had she been thinking the same thing I had? That the day had been perfect, and I would’ve put a ring on her hand at sunset in this very spot?

There was no way it would occur to her, nothing that insane and impulsive was reasonable enough for two people to think of it at the same time. I should be grateful she had no idea what I’d been thinking of when I held her hands in mine and kissed her in the gazebo, that I’d wanted to make her mine.

We wandered back to the main building at a leisurely stroll. I had draped my arm over Carla’s shoulder and held her against my side, matching my stride to hers. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ve had the most amazing day.”

“Definitely,” I agreed.

We said goodbye to Heather and left with a few bottles of the merlot Carla had liked. The drive home was full of easy conversation and the two of us holding hands, kissing anytime there was a stoplight. I felt like a teenager with her. Like everything was possible and stretched out in front of us forever, just past the horizon.

It was a high like nothing I’d experienced. My feelings for her ran deep, and I had to face that. Deeper than I wanted to admit. This would compromise my job and could put her degree at risk. The stakes were so high, and a sane man would let her go. As soon as it was safe for her to return to her own apartment, I should say goodbye and wish her well.

That sounded about as viable as carving out my own kidney. It felt like it would kill me, that I’d bleed out from losing her. She was crazy about me, but she was young, and it could burn out. She could move on from me after a brief affair and I’d be devastated and she’d…I was telling myself the horrible outcome, that I’d lose my job and she’d forget me. But I knew it was a lie.

I could definitely lose my job, but Carla wasn’t a flighty person, some shallow young thing. She was a strong, intelligent woman who knew her own mind. She wouldn’t use me for comfort and cast me aside. She wouldn’t move on like we never meant anything to each other. My understanding of her, our closeness was still no guarantee of a happily ever after.