Page 64 of Beautiful Envy
“I’m not going to promise we’ll all be okay or make it through this. There’s too much that I’ve seen and I’ve fought my way through hell and back for that girl, but I can say this with utter conviction. I will do everything in my power to protect our girl, even give my own life.” Maddox paused, glancing back at the woman who’d stolen our hearts. “She’s strong. She’s ready to face this. Darcie’s trained and grown into a true queen. She’s the true threat. These men we’ll be facing will be blindsided by her. I’m not saying not to worry, but have faith in her and us. Yourself included.”
I wanted to believe him, but I’d already failed at being there for her.
“I’m not like you. I froze last time. So I’m just going to get in the way. But even knowing that, I can’t seem to let her go.”
“Brooks, I’m not one for pep talks. I’m just going to say it how it is, okay?”
I nodded, bracing myself.
“How would you describe Darcie?” he asked, surprising me.
“Um, beautiful, kind, endearing, and strong. She’s overcome so much, and I want to shield her from any more pain.”
“Would someone like that love a man who ‘just gets in the way’?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, waiting for me to answer. I gaped, realizing what he’d done by using my own words against me.
“No, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best one for this.”
“You’re the best one for this because she chose you. If you want to shield her from pain, then get out of your own head and see the life waiting for you to live. If you don’t, you will do exactly what you don’t want to do. Hurt her. And to me, that’s a greater fault than not being just like me. She doesn’t need another me. She needs you, man.”
His words hit like a slap across the face, and I knew he was right. I was the one creating my own obstacles by being insecure and afraid.
“How do I deal with the fear?” I asked, standing straighter.
“Use it instead of letting it use you. How you do that will be for you to decide.” He turned, leaning against the toolbox again, staring at Darcie with a smile on his face.
I joined him, letting all the words he’d said sink in. I’d been stuck on the fear, unsure how to deal with it, letting it consume me.
Being afraid wasn’t a new concept to me. I’d been afraid of most things my whole life. But I’d also learned to conquer them.
When I couldn’t talk to my peers, I learned how to ride a horse, finding security and strength in the animals. Eventually, I grew confident in my ability and found a passion that led me to the rodeo. For eight seconds on the back of a bucking horse, I made fear my bitch.
I overcame my shyness with girls by practicing online. It helped me find a way to be myself without changing who I was. I gained the courage to try something new, leading me to meet and fall in love with Darcie.
Not having a family, I always wanted to belong somewhere. Meeting the guys, I gained brothers to support me and encourage me. I wasn’t alone anymore.
Taking a deep breath, I felt my body relax at the knowledge, reminding me how I’d found my own way every time. It didn’t look like your typical journey, but it was mine.
Being scared wasn’t new, so I just needed to find a way to tackle this for myself.
“Thank you. I’ll work on it. I’ll find my path.”
Maddox turned and wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulder. The embrace felt nice, easing some of the fear out of me.
“I know I’m the new guy, but I’m here for you, man. If there’s something I can help you with, then let me know, and I will. I trained Darcie, so I can train you too, if you want.”
“That might be helpful. It will give me something to focus on, if nothing else.”
Maddox grinned, his eyes slanting with the motion. Something told me I might regret asking him, but I couldn’t deny it would be nice to feel stronger and more prepared.
“We’ll start when we stop next. Now, let’s grab those two before we’re late for our appointment. Bubba will ground us all then, and we’d get nowhere.”
Chuckling, I walked over with Maddox to Grayson and Darcie as they kissed against his bike. I already felt lighter and knew I owed Maddox for talking me off the ledge.
“Hey, lovebirds, we have an appointment to keep,” Maddox shouted, breaking them apart.
Darcie frowned at being stopped until Maddox’s words registered. Her eyes lit up, and she gave a little happy dance as she looked at us.