Page 57 of Doc

Harlow

Was I dreaming? I must be. Earlier I’d thought I’d heard the shower running in the bathroom, but it was such a soothing sound that I’d let it lull me right back to sleep without checking. No one else was staying in Liam’s room with me, so I brushed off the occasional sounds that tried to draw me out of a deep, slightly drunk-induced sleep.

Liam had been gone for three days. Bobbie was the only one who’d received an occasional message from Demon, and early in the evening he’d let her know that they were on their way home, but not much else. Until they walked through the clubhouse doors, we would have no idea what condition they were in, just that there’d been no casualties. That hadn’t meant that some of them weren’t returning hurt, and worry over the unknown had climbed as the evening had gone on.

Holly, Millie, Raven, and I had stayed up late talking and drinking while the others had eventually gone off to bed. I’d mostly listened, realizing that the more I heard, the more I realized that this was an introduction to what my life was going to be like for me. I began to question if I could handle it. The not knowing was killing me inside. How could these women just watch their men go off to deal with “club business” and be gone for days without being told where they were going and what they were dealing with?

Raven had been the one to ask me if I was okay.

The smile I’d offered her had been weak, and I’d decided to be honest with her. “I’m just realizing that I might not be cut out for this kind of life.”

“It’s the not knowing,” Millie had agreed with understanding. “It was hard for me, for all of us, in the beginning.”

“Our men know what they’re doing. They’re tough and dangerous in their own rights. You just have to trust that they’ll come back to us.”

I’d given Holly a speculative look. “Really? You believe that?” I had my doubts.

Millie had snorted. “Well, they are tough and dangerous. And it’s not as if every time they go off it’s a do or die situation. But this is their life, and if you want to be with the man you love, you must take the bad with the good.”

It seemed so much more complicated than that.

“Honey—”

I’d turned toward Raven.

“It takes time, but it will get easier the longer you’re with Doc. Most of the time things are quiet and tame around here. You’ve seen it. The guys all have businesses to run, the club has businesses that bring in money, we do charity runs. And there’s the partying.”

We’d all rolled our eyes knowingly.

“But if there’s any kind of threat to the club, they have to deal with it.”

Millie had reached over and patted my hand. “Just give it time, honey. Don’t let this situation convince you that you can’t handle it. You’re stronger than you think.”

“And you have a support team, too,” Holly had added enthusiastically. “We’re all here for you. For each other. Lean on us when you need to. Some of these bitches give good advice,” she’d joked with a laugh.

“You and Doc deserve each other, honey.”

Raven’s words had played over in my mind as I’d made my way to my room. I’d showered and fallen into bed completely naked, praying that Liam was okay and would return to me soon.

****

DOC

Jesus I was tired. It was late when I finally made it back to the clubhouse after pushing myself to get home. After all the shit that had gone down in New Mexico, we’d split up into small groups and had taken different routes home. Some of my brothers had even remained behind an extra day. Wild Bandits were no more, thank fuck. We’d successfully obliterated their compound, and had killed off those who hadn’t been killed in the blast. There’d been a savage firefight and some hands-on combat, but because we’d caught the other club totally by surprise it hadn’t lasted long.

The only problem—and it was a big fucking problem—was that Bronx hadn’t been among the dead.

Trip and his crew had stayed behind, too, dealing with the women at the compound. It hadn’t come as a surprise that they’d been there against their will and had been used as club whores until they’d been replaced and then sold off. The girls Trip had rescued along the way had been meant to take their places as fresh meat, or so one of them had explained to us. It had disgusted all of us to discover that one of the women had turned out to be a fourteen-year-old girl, an orphan they’d picked up off the street.

I opened the door and entered a quiet clubhouse, as I’d expected at three in the morning. No one was around. I headed straight toward my room, anxious to see my woman.

“First thing I’m gonna do is lose myself in Lulu.”

He was full of bullshit. Lulu was still recovering from birthing their son. Savage, Oz, and Bull had ridden back with me. I imagined Bull and Oz felt the same way about their old ladies. “Hope you shower first,” I snorted. We were filthy and bloody.

“Lulu likes it dirty,” he chuckled.

We separated and went our own ways. I planned to lose myself in Harlow, too. Fuck that divorce paper. I couldn’t wait any longer to slip between her sweet thighs and know what she felt like wrapped around my dick. If I went to hell for it, then so be it. It was just a fucking piece of paper. I’d held out long enough, and I needed her.