Page 35 of I Could Never
“Who’s with the dude now while you’re here? His aunt?”
I didn’t want to get into it. “It’s a bit of a long story.”
He pushed. “I got time.”
“Brad’s fiancée is with him, actually. She’s been living with us and helping me.”
“Whoa.” His eyes practically bugged out of his head. “How did that happen?”
“We both had the same idea and both thought we were the right person for the job. We showed up around the same time and told the other to leave. Neither one of us budged. Then we both realized how difficult it was and decided to stay and help each other.”
Jordan was still processing. “Wait…you’ve beenlivingwith her?”
“Yes.” I took another sip of my drink.
“This is the girl you never liked, right?”
My throat felt bitter. “I never really knew her.”
“What about now?”
I moved my straw around in the ice. “I think she’s…great, to be honest. We have our moments when we bicker, but I sort of enjoy them. Makes the time go by faster.”
“That’s some crazy shit. You’ve been holding out on me.”
“It’s really not that crazy. It’s just the way things worked out.”
“The way you were smiling when you were texting her… You sure there’s nothing going on there?”
Feeling a rush of nervous energy, I shook my head. “No, of course not. It’s not like that.”
“I wouldn’t judge you if there were something happening, you know.”
“There’s not,” I snapped.
“You’re not attracted to her?”
“That’s irrelevant. I couldn’t do that to Brad even if I were.”
“Brad’s not here anymore, Josh.”
The slap of his statement hurt my chest.
“He is.” I pointed to my heart. “He’s here.” I pointed to my head. “And here. So, no.”
I felt myself sweating. The thoughts I’d had since I caught Carly ogling me had run rampant in my mind over the past few days. So had the guilt. It was bad enough I’d woken up drenched and hard last night after a vivid dream where I was angry-fucking her from behind while pulling on her long, blonde hair. I knew I wouldn’t act on my impulses, but the thoughts were there—a perfect example of why I’d volunteered to come out here, though I technically didn’t have to. I could have gotten out of it. But I needed a breather from the tension.
“I can respect your feelings on Brad,” Jordan said. “But just curious—I mean, if you’re cohabitating with her, and there’s some mutual attraction there, it’s gotta be tough. Living in the middle of the woods with a hot woman? You can’t tell me the line doesn’t blur a little.”
If I knew Jordan, he was going to keep pushing until he got everything out of me. So I decided to make his job easier.
“We had one awkward thing happen that was entirely my fault.” I crunched on some ice.
“What happened?”
I explained the diary incident and what prompted it.
“She must think you’re the biggest dick.” He laughed.