Page 91 of I Could Never
“When would this spot be available?” I asked.
“Well, the transition won’t happen until after the new year. With Christmas only a week away, everything will slow down for a bit. The current resident’s official moving date is January third, and then we’ll need a few days to get the space ready for Scottie, if you choose to take this opening.”
“How long do we have to decide?” Josh asked.
“I can give you until the end of tomorrow. Honestly, Scottie wasn’t the first one on the waiting list, but we think he would be a better fit for this particular home, because he’s fairly calm. Not every home is a good fit for everyone. But we really can’t give you much more than a day to decide since we have to get going on all of the transition paperwork and give the opportunity to someone else if you’re not going to take it. And since Lorraine Longo is officially Scottie’s next of kin, she’ll need to be the one who signs off on everything, though I know she instructed us to communicate with you first.”
“Okay... Well, Josh and I will discuss it and keep Lorraine apprised, too. We’ll get back to you by tomorrow.” I placed my hand on my chest to try to contain my racing heart. “Should I call you back at this number?”
“Yes, that will be absolutely fine.”
Josh spoke over my shoulder. “Thanks for calling, Maxine.”
After I hung up, I stared into the living room in a daze.
Scottie sat there, mellow and red-faced, oblivious to this major turning point in his life.
“Holy shit,” Josh muttered.
I held on to my stomach as if I were ready to hurl. “I know.”
“I wasn’t expecting it to happen this fast. You?”
I shook my head. “Not at all.”
Josh’s face looked sunken. “I don’t feel ready...”
“Would weeverfeel ready, Josh?”
He frowned. “Probably not.”
“It’s like...be careful what you wish for, right?” I sighed. “This is what we’ve been working toward from the beginning, but now that it’s happening, it’s scary. I also keep wondering if this is what they’d really want...”
He arched his forehead. “You mean Wayne and Brad?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Would they be okay with this, or would they want us to stay?”
Josh looked away. “I don’t think they would ever expect us to stay.”
“Not what they’d expect, but what would they want? Would they want us to stay if we were willing?” I shook my head. “I guess it doesn’t matter. Obviously, it’s not feasible. I keep telling myself that the group home has more resources for him than we would.”
“We need to move on with our lives, and so does Scottie,” he said. “It’ll take some adjusting for all of us, but the group-home situation is for the best.”
The sad look on his face told me he was trying to convince himself as much as me.
“Yeah.” I rubbed his arm. “This is a good thing. But we still have until tomorrow to decide. Although, I’m not sure what would deter us.”
“There’s nothing that would deter me...you?” He looked into my eyes.
Every reason deterring me would be selfish. I didn’t want to leave Josh, and a part of me had become really attached to Scottie, despite how much work it was taking care of him. But in the end, Scottie needed round-the-clock care, and I needed to get back to my life in California. I knew in my heart that as much as Brad loved his brother, he would never be okay with me giving up my freedom to care for Scottie full time.
“There’s nothing that would deter me, no,” I finally answered.
“Then I think it’s settled.” He let out a long breath.
“We’ll just call them tomorrow with Lorraine and tell them we accept.”
Josh seemed lost in thought as he murmured, “Yup.”