Page 93 of I Could Never
As he moved in and out of me, Josh spoke into the crook of my neck. “That was amazing, beautiful.”
When he pulled out, I turned to face him. His eyes were still hooded, drunk with lingering desire. The weight on my chest became too much to bear—especially with the news we’d received this morning. I had to tell him.
I wrapped my hands around his face and blurted, “I haven’t been honest with you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My feelings are stronger than I’ve let on.” I placed his hand on my heart so he could feel how it beat for him. “I don’t feel dead inside anymore, Josh. You did that. But I think it’s a good idea if we really do stop now. I’m starting to feeltoo much. Soon we’re not gonna be together, and it’s better if we stop before we do more damage.”
He shut his eyes. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.” He moved closer, resting his forehead against mine. “I’m so fucking weak.”
“You’re not the only one,” I said. I could feel his cum dripping down my thigh.
I already wanted him again, mere seconds after I’d told him we needed to stop. The problem, though? Not only did I want him inside of me, I wanted him in my bed tonight—holding me. I was starting to wanteverythingwith Josh—things he likely wasn’t willing to give me. That was precisely why we needed a step back.
CHAPTER 25
JOSH
THE FOLLOWING MORNING,I met my brother Michael for breakfast. My plan was to continue denying that anything sexual had happened between Carly and me. Unfortunately, my brother could always see through me.
“Carly and Scottie are coming with me to your house on Christmas,” I told him. “Hope that’s okay...”
“Are you kidding?” he said with a mouth full of pancake. “The more the merrier. I’ll let Vanessa know. She’ll be excited.”
“Yeah, and can you have Vanessa add Carly and Scottie to the Secret Santa assignments?”
“You know it. She’ll be thrilled.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed a packet of sugar and emptied it into my cup, flicking it repeatedly.
“So…what happened the other night, after Carly got home from her date?” he asked. “You never told me, nor did you respond to my text.”
I didn’t say anything as I stirred my coffee, but he apparently saw something on my face. Or maybe it was the fact that I wouldn’t look up at him.
“You slept with her, didn’t you…”
Shit. There was no point in denying it. Tapping my spoon against the mug, I finally met his eyes. “It just...happened. I was fucking jealous. And you were right. She was texting me from there. But whatever happened with us that night, it’s over.”
“Wait, so you actually slept with herthatnight after she got back?”
I nodded, muttering, “The first time, at least…”
“And wait…” he said. “What do you mean byit’s over? Didn’t it just start? That was only two nights ago.”
“We decided—” I stopped myself. “Well, actuallyshedecided most recently that we have to stop. And she’s right. We won’t be here in Woodsboro much longer.”
“What do you mean?”
“That’s one of the things I wanted to tell you.” I forced a smile. “Scottie got into a home.”
“No way. I thought it was supposed to take a year or more.”
“We did, too. But they have an opening for him. He’s moving after the new year.”
“Wow.” My brother gazed out the window. “I have to say... I’m a little bummed. I was kind of hoping you’d stick around longer.”
Yeah. Me too.“Everything happens for a reason. I can’t take back what I did with Carly. And honestly, I wouldn’t want to. But sex and love are two different things. If we were to get any more involved…that wouldn’t be good. It’s bad enough that I had sex with her, but anything else doesn’t belong to me. That will always belong to Brad. I have no right trying to pick up with her where he left off.” I rubbed my temples. “God, this is so fucked up.”