Page 30 of Temptress
I looked in the direction she was pointing and felt my heart shrivel up as I watched Silas smile at Hardin. His smile was free and easy as the two of them spoke, and the pang in my chest radiated down through my limbs at the realization he’d never once smiled at me like that. In the time I’d known him, I’d only gotten one full-blown smile. Just one. And I’d had to pull that one from him with the tips of my nails whereas he gave it to Hardin like it was nothing.
God, that hurt.
“Looks like he’s changing his tune. That’s exciting, right?”
I did my best to keep my smile from wobbling as I croaked, “Yeah. That’s great.”
Asher came dancing up just then, looking way too pleased with herself. “I don’t know about you guys, but I see sparks,” she finished in a sing-song voice.
My friends’ voices faded like I was going through a tunnel and losing the signal as I watched it play out in front of me. Silas said something that had Hardin’s head tipping back on a laugh, and when her hand came out to rest on his forearm, I felt like I’d been stabbed right in the chest.
But what hurt the most was when they both pulled out their cellphones and it became obvious they were exchanging numbers.
That was when it really hit me.
It wasn’t that Silas didn’t want a relationship. He simply didn’t want one withme.
A burn hit the backs of my eyes just then, my vision growing blurry as I fought to keep my tears in check. Every negative word my mother had ever said played through my head on a loop, making that burn even worse.
I couldn’t lose it in front of my friends. That would have been too humiliating to stomach, and I’d had more than my fair share of that already. But I could feel the grasp I had on my control slipping, and if I didn’t get the hell out of there, I was going to end up making a scene. That was the last thing I needed or wanted.
I cleared my throat, desperate to dislodge the golf ball-sized lump that had formed there. “You know what, guys? I’m not feeling so good.”
Asher looked at me with concern. “You okay, babe?”
I pulled my lips into a closed-mouth grin. “Yeah. I just think I’ve gotten a bit too much sun is all. That and the beer... I think I just need to lie down. I’m going to head out.”
Marin placed her hand on my arm, her brow furrowed. “You sure you’re okay? You need someone to drive you? I can get Pierce and we can take you,” she offered.
“That’s sweet, but I’m good. I promise.” I leaned in and placed a kiss on both their cheeks. “A nap and I’ll be good as new.” I started walking backward, lifting my hand in a wave as I added, “I’ll see you guys at the next rehearsal.”
Then I turned and got the hell out of there before I embarrassed myself in front of Silasagain.
15
SLOANE
As much as I hated to admit it, and as pathetic as it made me feel, I’d actually called in sick to work the night Silas had taken Hardin on their date so I could wallow.
That was right. The asshole actually asked myfriendon a date. I’d done my very best to act excited for her, but the whole time, sadness was eating me alive. It didn’t even matter that I’d heard through the grapevine a few days later than nothing had come of it. The damage had already been done. He’d lied to me, and then taken one of my best friends out on a date.
I would have much preferred to be angry over sad, but it was hard to find my mad when I was too busy asking myself over and over what was so wrong with me that, while my friends were all settling into their happily ever afters with the loves of their lives, I was still painfully single.
I’d dated, sure, not in a while, mind you, but none of those ever built into something solid, something that hadlong runcarved into it. I’d tried my hardest to push the negative thoughts back, but I couldn’t help but think that maybe the problem was me.
Maybe my mother was right and I was destined for nothing but heartache and pain. Maybe I really was naïve and stupid for thinking there was some great love out there for me. I had never wanted to believe she was right, but it was getting harder and harder to maintain a positive outlook.
I’d gone from avoiding Silas to actively behaving like the man didn’t exist. Childish? Yeah, but he’d hurt me, and it was the best I could do. Besides, as much as I didn’t want to be within ten feet of her father, I didn’t want to risk doing anything that could hurt Darcy. I still cared about her, and I didn’t want to wreck the friendship we’d managed to build.
After rehearsals that morning, I’d gone home and spent some quality time in my flowerbeds, using them to work out my emotions until there wasn’t a single weed in sight. Soon enough, I’d have to get them ready for winter, but they were still thriving, and being surrounded by all my pretty plants and flowers soothed the ache that had taken up permanent residence inside my chest.
After that, I’d taken a nice, long shower, even going so far as to apply a deep conditioner to my hair and wrap it up in a towel. Then I’d taken the time for a little self-love. While the conditioner did its thing on my hair, I’d slathered my face in a mask and slapped those little jelly eye patches beneath my eyes, hoping they’d work a miracle on the bags that were starting to form.
The manicure Darcy had given me a few weeks ago was chipped and flaking off, so I’d removed it, replacing it with a bright, sunny pink I hoped would help improve my mood.
My toes were finished and I was applying the second coat to my fingers when my phone started to ring. I let it go to voicemail so as not to mess up the work I’d just done, but only a second after the ringing stopped, it started right back up again.
My eyes darted to the screen and my stomach twisted with panic when I saw Darcy’s name in bold white letters across the top.