Page 102 of The Wild Fire
I giggle. “Don’t let me keep you here.”
“You need a ride home?” she asks.
Looks like I’ll be hitching rides with my friends for the foreseeable future. My car is still at Jasper’s shop and I don’t know how long it will take until he receives the necessary parts to fix it.
“I don’t think I’m ready to leave just yet.” I stroke the puppy who is currently trying to lick my cheek. “I have some things to work through.”
“Fine. Just don’t sit around and wallow too much. And if you need me, just call me. Okay?”
“Okay.”
We share another hug and then she’s gone. I stay there on my own for a while longer. When the puppies are all tuckered out, I lock up and head out of the clinic.
Half an hour later, I find myself strolling aimlessly around my big, quiet house, trying hopelessly to ignore the echoes of my life with Davis that still whisper from each corner of each room. Opening and closing cabinet doors. Mindlessly peering into the empty fridge. And I’m in no mood to clean out that junk drawer.
Remembering that I’d promise to call my sister, I make myself a cup of tea before grabbing my phone off the charger and wandering into the living room. I won’t lie—I’m anxious to hear whatever it is she has to tell me as I lower into the armchair opposite the big front window.
Stacey answers after a few rings and we start by making small talk. she wants to know all the details about the wedding. When I tell her that the ceremony was postponed, I can hear in her voice that she’s genuinely disappointed for the bride and groom.
“So what is the big news that you have for me?” I ask once I’ve mustered up the courage and I’m practically bracing myself as I wait for her response.
I hear a bit of hesitancy in her voice before she says, “I’m going back to school, Allie. I got accepted into college.”
I feel my brows pop up. “You did?”
She’s smiling. I can hear it. “Yes. The local community college. I’m gonna start with a bachelors in social work and then see where it goes from there.”
“Stacey!” I say. “I’m so proud of you!”
“I’ve been thinking a lot, Allie. About the way we grew up and everything we had to go through. I don’t want to repeat the choices Mom made. I want a better life for Louis. And step one is learning to stand on my own two feet. I got a better job. At a photography studio. I’ve had it for a few weeks now. It’s nothing fancy but my boss is really cool and I get paid enough that I can afford a small apartment while I’m in school.”
“That is so incredible, sis. I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that.”
“Jordan says that he wants to move with me. He doesn’t want to stay with Mom.”
“That’s good,” I tell her. God knows it’s in that boy’s best interests to get away from our mother.
I hear my sister sniffling over the line. “I never forgave myself for what happened to you, Alana.”
I swallow down the lump that rises in my throat. “It’s in the past now,” I tell her. “We’re all moving forward.”
“Every single day, I wish there was some way I could make it up to you,” she tells me.
“Each step forward that you take for Louis, that’s making it up to me,” I assure her.
“I don’t want to keep using my past to justify why my life isn’t where I want it to be today. Yes, we had a rough childhood, and I got pregnant at fifteen, and I made some mistakes after that, but I can move past those things, right?”
“Right.” I smile at the determination in her voice.
“I want to know that I can depend on myself to provide for myself and my child.” She exhales and I hear the courage in the sound. “I’m ready to change things in my life.”
“You have my full support,” I assure her. “Wanting to change requires strength and I admire you for taking these first few steps.”
“Thank you,” my sister says to me. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
When we get off the phone, I sit in the armchair and stare out the window at the quiet street. Something Stacey said to me keeps replaying in my mind.