Page 71 of Awaiting
Bexley gave her a weak smile. Alex knew this was her chance. If she was ever going to tell Bexley how she felt, now was the time. There was something about the late hour, the events at the bar, the entire trip, and how Bexley looked at her right now that told Alex this was her moment.
“Iwant you,” she said.
“What did you say?”
“I want you, Bex. I always have,” Alex replied.
“Alex, you can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not?” Alex asked as she reached for the napkin under her cup, crumpled it, and tossed it into Bexley’s trash can. “It’s the truth.”
“It’s been a long day, and things are confusing right now. We’re both tired.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are things confusing?” Alex asked. “What’s confusing about what I’m saying, Bexley?”
“I don’t know. It just is,” Bexley said. “Maybe we should just call it a night. I’m exhausted. I moved my grandmother into–”
“Don’t do that,” Alex interrupted.
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t pretend like you haven’t heard what I said and change the subject,” Alex told her.
“Alex, you don’t mean it. You could have Jennifer Lawrence if you wanted to.” Bexley chuckled nervously.
“She’s married. And I don’t want her or anyone else. I mean what I’m saying right now, Bexley, so please don’t do the thing where you laugh off my feelings.”
“What? I’m not,” Bexley said, looking concerned now. “Alex, I’m not laughing off your feelings. I just don’t know that you’re saying what I meant when I said I wanted someone who wanted me.”
“I understood your meaning. I may not have a Ph.D, Dr.Woods, but I know what it means when someone says they want a person who wantsthemand no one else. I know it because that’s what I’ve wanted my whole life: someone who wantedmeand only me, and not because of the family I was born into, but becauseI’mthe one they want to wake up next to for the rest of their life.”
“Alex, I…”
Alex picked up her cup, placed it in the sink without dumping it out, and said, “I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Don’t just leave right now.”
“I don’t know that you’re ready to hear what I’m saying, and I don’t want to go in circles all night with you, Bexley. I meant what I said. Maybe you just need to sit with that for a while.”
“Alex…”
Alex walked over to her and kissed Bexley on the top of her head.
“When you’re ready to really talk about what’s been going on between us, just let me know.”
Alex walked slowly toward the guest bedroom, hoping Bexley would say her name again, stop her, and they could talk about this, but Bexley didn’t say anything. So, Alex opened and closed the door behind her, moved to the bed, and pulled out her phone.
“What time is it there, Favorite Sister?”
“It’s late,” she said.
“Are you all right?” Larry asked, likely recognizing her tone.
“Not really,” she said softly in case Bexley could hear her. “I told her.”