Page 55 of Hogging the Hunk
“It’s not that simple.” Hastily, I reeled in my line so I could cast it out again, sending all my frustration with it. Anger gave me a terrible aim. My lure smacked into a rock near the shoreline and dropped pathetically into the water. “It’s not just me I need to think about. I have Ellie and her input matters, too.”
“He’s right again, guys,” Wil piped up. “It's hard to balance being a single dad with dating.”
Heartened by Wil defending me, and knowing the successful family life he’d built with Remi, I asked, “Did Asher have any trouble adjusting to the idea of Remi being his stepmom?”
“Nope,” Asher said.
“Uh, he probably would have traded me for Remi in a heartbeat if he knew it was an option,” Wil said.
“That’s because you can be a stick in the mud,” Preacher teased. “Asher told me you don’t let him slide down the railing at home. I mean, c’mon, man. That’s one of the simple pleasures of life.”
Wil shot Preacher a dark look. “That’s because he’s already broken the railing four times because he was going down so fast.”
Asher vehemently shook his head, his eyes wide with worry. “One time it was Mom. She said she’d tell you it was her fault. She did, didn’t she?”
Wil massaged his temples. “Between you and Remi, Hudson is going to have home repair jobs until the end of time.”
I was truly glad that Wil had Remi. For all the men in my presence finding the women who completed them. The stab of jealousy and unfulfilled desires sank deep. Partnerships only worked when both people were willing. I couldn’t and wouldn’t force Beckett to love me. I wanted to be worthy of being her choice.
“Ellie says she doesn’t need a mother. She already had one,” I said. “I’ve tried to balance the happiness of my child with my own desires, and as the parent, I have to be the one to make sacrifices. Were you unhappy to be raising Asher on your own?”
I kept defaulting to Wil for how similar our situations were. And, if I kept him talking, it meant less focus on me. Wil thought for a moment, slowly towing in his line as he considered. “Yes and no.”
“That’s literally the least helpful answer you could give the man, Wil,” Parker said with a snort of laughter.
“It’s true, though.” Wil stood up to cast his line and sat back down when his lure plunked into the water. “Asher and I had a lot of great times together, before Remi, but I don’t think anyone would argue that him having a mother has been anything but good for him. For all of us. She balances my parenting style, and when one of us needs a break, we tag team it. She has my back and loves Asher as if he was her own.”
“That’s not even including the benefits of having a gorgeous wife,” Parker chuckled, pumping his eyebrows. Asher covered his ears, and Wil dropped his head, suppressing a grin.
I sighed, staring far out into the water, wondering if Beckett had thought of me half as often as I’d wondered about her. Our last evening together had started out like a fairy tale and somehow ended in a nightmare. None of the blame landed on Ellie, and I’d made sure she knew that, but we’d had some very serious heart to hearts about the future of our family, and where we derive ourselves. Ellie seemed to understand my heartfelt and logical explanation for why Beckett had been so important to me. If Beckett ever let me apologize and explain why I had failed to pursue her to the fullest extent of my abilities, Ellie promised she’d be open-minded. Turns out, she wanted me to be happy, too, and had been trying to protect my heart in her own way.
“So at the risk of sounding like an idiot by repeating Parker,” Clint shot Parker a teasing glance, then asked, “what are you going to do about Beckett?”
I withdrew into myself where I could debate without the exterior influence of the guys who’d become an important part of my life. They were more than mere friends—they were like brothers. Who I turned to for advice. Or a laugh and reminder that everything isn’t so serious. If I ever married, they’d be my lineup of groomsmen flanking me at my wedding.
In quantifying what I wanted out of a relationship, it became clear to me what I hoped for Beckett and me. No longer was I satisfied with the casualness of our interactions or the someday promise of deepening our relationship. I wanted her now. What would I do to show her I loved her?
What wouldn’t I do?
I must have been silent longer than anyone had expected because Preacher piped up, interpreting my silence as indecision. “Sometimes you have to take risks, and convince her you really do love her with grand gestures.”
Clint didn’t even try to contain his eye roll. “We all know you bought Trixie a Camaro to prove your undying love. Not everyone can buy their girlfriend a muscle car. That doesn’t mean they don’t really love her.”
Preacher turned white, and he held out his hands like he was trying to calm a lion so it wouldn’t pounce on him and eat him. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about. Just the general situations when a man has to go above and beyond. There are times to make extraordinary promises to prove your love for a woman.”
“Like rubbing her feet, even if they’re really dirty and sweaty and gross?” Asher asked.
“That’s a good example.” Reaching into his pockets, Preacher produced a black velvet box and held it on his open palm at the exact moment that Asher yelped in surprise.
Hyperventilating, Asher cried, “I got a fish!”
Wil dropped his pole and rushed to his son’s aid. “Reel it in now, nice and steady.”
Nodding his head toward Preacher’s open palm, Parker asked, “Does this mean we’re going to have another wedding at the farm soon?”
“Yep.” Preacher beamed like his hog had won grand champion at the state fair. “That is, if Trixie will have me.”
“She will,” Clint said, congratulating Preacher with a hearty slap on the back. “You already bribed her with a sweet car.”