Page 12 of Riding Wicked
“Axel is an asshole, but he used to work for the Feds, and he still has connections with someinterestingpeople. He may be able to look your mom up and see if she’s alive somewhere.”
“I don’t know if I want to know. I mean,” I swallow hard, “what if she is? What if she really left me with him? I couldn’t forgive her.”
He looks toward me. “Based on what you’ve said, I doubt she’d do that.”
“Maybe… but she could have changed her name and was never found.”
“Could have, but what’s the likelihood of that? Your father didn’t tell you he was out looking for her. By the sounds, he wanted her gone and we both know he’s had the power to find her.”
“Right, so if she didn’t want to be found, she’d have changed her name.”
“I’ll let Axel know it’s a possibility.” He sweeps his arm across my shoulder gently. “But honestly, even when someone is using an alias, they can still track the person down. It’s not as easy or clear cut, but it’s not as hard as you would think. Should I have him check?”
I bite my lip and stare up at the ceiling. Knowing would change a lot of things, but maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe I should want my father… gone, regardless of what happened with my mother. He’s the reason I can’t keep the baby. Not only because of land but because I don’t want a child growing up in a world where my father has influence. That by itself should be enough for me to pull the trigger.
Knight squeezes my hand. “Don’t feel press—”
“I want to do it.” I wet my lips as my chest tightens. “Give Axel the green light to look. I want to know what happened to my mother. But… I don’t want to wait for that to come back before we deal with my father.” I glance down at the bruise on my arm. It’s not the first one he’s given me, and certainly not the worst. “I think you should have the Death Rangers do their thing. I have a little nest egg. I can pay them what they need.”
“They don’t charge us. We exchange…”
“Acts of violence?” My arms tense and a heaviness drops into my stomach.What am I doing?
“We don’t hurt people unless we have to.”
“So that’s it? We just tell them, and they take care of everything?” Part of me wants to ask for details but I know this will be the Jonathan thing all over again.
It’s for the best. I believe that now. Whatever the Death Rangers do to my father is nothing compared to what he’s done to everyone around him.
“They’ll send some guys out to the ranch and—”
“Never mind. What happens to the animals on the ranch?”
“We’ll send someone to get what we can, but we can’t take too much. We don’t want to give anyone a reason to look at us funny.”
I nod and reach for Zilly, scrubbing my hand into her soft fur as she sleeps beside me. I’m so thankful he figured out how to bring her along.
Knight lifts his phone from the bedside table and sends a text off before rolling his hand over my expanded stomach. The baby kicks, and for the first time in six months, I allow myself to think of this little boy as mine. “We’ll take care of you, Oakley. Both of you.” Knight lands a kiss on my stomach and warm calmness washes over me.
I didn’t ask for this life, and I don’t want to hurt my father. But if the choice is my baby or my father, I choose my son.
Chapter Eight
Knight
The dining hall isn’t supposed to be open, but Arnie has been here cooking all week. He’s making a menu for the new lodge and we’re on the lucky end of his labors.
“Now be honest with me. These are the last two dishes I’m debating.” He sets two platters down in the center of the table, both of them stacked with meat. Rib eye, and smoked BBQ chicken. “They’re part of the chuck-wagon dinner we’ll have here every Friday night. I’ll go get the sides. You guys get started.”
The guys load up their plates and dig in, but I hold off and wait for Oakley. She should’ve been downstairs by now. The last few days have been weird with all the stress surrounding her father, but we’ve tried to transition as best we can. I spend days working on the lodge and she spends time planting flowers in the garden or helping out in the kitchen until lunch time.
I even took her into town for a checkup. It was a risky move, but the visit seemed imperative after all the stress she’s been under. Thankfully, the baby is growing right on target and we’re a little further along than originally thought—seven months tomorrow. I’ve never seen an ultrasound live like that before and I’m not sure I’ve ever been more amazed.How is it that I already feel an immense desire to protect this boy like I do his mother?
I stand from the table and nod toward the guys who are all scarfing down the meal as though it’s their last. “You guys are monsters.” I laugh. “I’ll be right back.”
No one seems to care much about what I’m doing, and as Arnie sets the sides down on the table, I wonder if there will be any food when I get back. He might have been the single best decision anyone’s made when building this place. Locals and tourists alike are going to drive up here just to eat.
As I make my way up from the table, I realize Axel is missing too. My stomach rolls and drops before my chest tightens. I can’t imagine he’d take it upon himself to tell Oakley any news without me, but the guy is a live wire.