Page 50 of Scary & Bright
“No, I wouldn’t.” I smiled, signaling to the bear I was starting to understand his theory. Not only was I understanding it, I was agreeing with it. It made sense.
“Perhaps the answer to keeping the balance isn’t death,” Mister said plainly. “Perhaps it’s redemption.”
He looked at me with a knowing gaze, like we were both in on a secret that nobody else knew quite yet.
“And why the hell—sorry.” I remembered Mister wasn’t a fan of swearing. “Why the heck doesn’t Krampus believe you? Your theory makes sense!”
“Because he’s scared.” Mister sighed, dropping back onto his stuffed behind. “And I think he’s scared that it’s a bunk theory. He’d rather dismiss this new way of thinking entirely than give it a shot, put faith into it, only for it to find out it’s not real.”
“But he has to try,” I said mostly to myself as I vocalized my thoughts. “This changes everything. Absolutely everything. We could have a real chance.”
Mister looked at me and nodded, his sideways smirk giving me an expression that said yeah, I know.
“First thing in the morning,” I said confidently, “I’m convincing him to get on board.”
I tucked Spotty the Dog under my arm from where I’d placed him on the counter, took my mug, and turned to leave the kitchen.
“Thank you, Mister, for enlightening me,” I said on my way out.
“Thank you, Holly, for listening,” he called in return before flipping his book back open to pick up where he’d left off.
21
KRAMPUS
“I think it could really work, Krampus!” Holly exclaimed as she sat cross-legged on the end of the bed. I was half-awake, still physically spent from the night before, but when she woke me up at six thirty in the morning with such manic excitement, I forced myself to sit up and hear what she had to say.
“I mean, Mister Bear had some really good points,” she continued, her hands and arms moving dramatically with every word. “And you know, what is there to lose? Nothing! That’s what. There’s only something to gain, and that something is so incredible, you know?”
I had no idea how long she had been awake, or even if she’d fallen asleep. I’d never seen her so animated, but my inner monologue was absolutely wrecked as I listened to her speech.
At some point in the night, she had gone down to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea, and who did she meet in the kitchen? Mister Bear. And what did Mister Bear do? Lay out his radical hypothesis for her, hoping she would try to talk to me on his behalf. I felt backed against a wall. What the teddy bear failed to explain to her were my own very valid worries, but it was already too late for that. She was convinced there was a miraculous way out of this mess and had allowed herself to feel like we had already won.
But the truth was, we hadn’t.
She rambled on, and I couldn’t even allow myself to enjoy the sparkles in her eyes because all I could imagine was the look on her face when this plan didn't work. Mister Bear called it stubbornness or pessimism, but I preferred to call it being realistic. Now, I was unfortunately going to have to be the one to not only burst her bubble but potentially break her heart—something I never, ever had any intention of doing. Before this, I’d had my mind made up. I had made peace with it. Holly was unhappy with my decision, but at least she knew what to expect. She knew it was coming and could prepare herself emotionally and mentally.
Now, though? This theory that Mister Bear had been toting along for years was going to be the reason the only person who ever loved me as Krampus was going to hate me. Our last days together would be ruined, and I would still refuse to kill her, leaving us both destroyed in one way or another.
“So, I really think we should give it a shot,” Holly concluded. “I know you never wanted to try before, but… Am I wrong to think that now you have a reason to? Besides, it’s not like we have to even do anything differently. This can just change our mindset, you know?”
I tried to force time to freeze in that moment as she looked at me with her big green eyes. She looked so happy and confident, and I could absolutely feel the love pouring off of her. Every bit of me loathed what I knew I was about to say, but all I could do was hope she didn’t hate me too much after the fact.
“Holly,” I began, turning my face to my lap, still covered by our comforter.
“If you’re about to tell me you don’t think this will work, you’re going to have to give me a damned good reason why you think that,” Holly cut me off, likely already sensing that this conversation was not going to go the way she wanted.
“I can see that this is something you’re really excited about,” I began again, trying my best to not sound immediately shitty and dismissive. “But Mister has been trying to get me to try this hypothesis of his for years. Unfortunately, if it doesn’t go off the way he thinks it will…”
“Then the same thing happens, anyway, Krampus,” Holly snapped. “A pissed off Santa Claus, a ruined Christmas, and an eternity of torture by strangulation.”
This was the first time I’d ever seen her genuinely angry. I’d seen her scared, and I’d seen glimmers of her sadness, but I’d never experienced an angry Holly. I hated that this rage in her was directed at me.
“It’s like you said before, Hol,” I tried to explain, still keeping my voice steady and calm. “It’s about the change of mindset. Something like Mister’s theory is something that I’d have to present with a level of confidence that I just don’t have. Without taking direct action in keeping the balance, like making a kill, there’s nothing to assure my brother that the deed has been done.”
She sat there silently with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. She turned her head slightly away from me, but I knew she was still listening.
I took a breath before making my next point. “Do you remember when I first told you about all of this, and I told you that Santa Claus likes to have all of this taken care of the day before Christmas Eve?”