Page 18 of Rider
“Right after college.”
Sutton perks her head up, her eyes bright with curiosity as she props herself up on my chest. “You went to college?”
“Surprised?” I ask, lifting an eyebrow at my adorable princess.
“What was your major?”
“Business financing.”
Her eyebrows disappear into her hairline while her teal eyes grow wide with shock. “Seriously?!”
“I dropped out after a month and haven’t stepped foot on a college campus since,” I tell her with a grin.
Sutton laughs, her entire body shaking with joy. “Nowthatsounds more like it,” she says between giggles.
“My mom wanted me to go to college, so I gave it a shot. Signed up for classes, bought the books, even tried making a few friends in the dorm. It was miserable, and each day felt like ten years. I couldn’t imagine doing that for another four years, only to graduate and get an equally awful job for the next fifty years.”
Sutton nods, settling back on my chest and curling up like a cat. She even purrs like one as I continue rubbing her back and combing my fingers through her hair.
“Initially, Ma wasn’t happy about my decision, but she agreed I hadn’t been the same since going to school. I told her I would still make her proud, even if it wasn’t with a college degree.”
“Did she approve of the MC?”
I chuckle, thinking back to our conversation about me being a prospect for the Savage Saints. “Not at first. The night I told her, she grabbed her trusty wooden spoon and threatened to beat some sense into me. Of course, even back then, I was double her size, so it was an empty threat. Still, she didn’t like the idea of her son being athug. Her words, not mine.”
“But she came around to the idea?”
I nod. “Once she saw how loyal the club was and the good we do for the community, Ma eventually gave me her blessing. She even came with me to the clubhouse on occasion to throw back a few beers.” My cheeks are sore from smiling so wide. “Once she accepted that I was a Savage Saint for life, my mom was supportive and along for the ride.”
“I wish I could have met her,” Sutton whispers.
“Me, too.” I swallow past the unexpected emotion in my throat. “She would have loved you.” I can feel my girl smiling into the side of my neck, and I know it means a lot to her to have my mother’s approval. She’s the sweetest fucking woman in the world, and it pisses me off that her parents ever made her feel like a burden.
“How did she… Never mind.” Sutton starts and stops her question, but I know what she was going to ask.
“Cancer,” I choke out before clearing my throat. “By the time we caught it, there weren’t many options other than trying to make her comfortable in the end. I wish I could have… If I was there when…”
I trail off, bringing my free hand to my eyes and rubbing them, trying to wipe away the pesky moisture that seems to be gathering there.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Sutton murmurs, pressing the softest kiss to my cheek.
I want to tell her everything. I want Sutton to know my greatest failure in life was not being there for my mom during her final days. She was my biggest supporter, and she always believed that I was wrongfully put in prison. Still, being trapped in a cage while my mom wasted away into nothing is a special kind of hell and shame.
The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t seem to put my voice behind them. Sutton needs to know I spent the last five years behind bars. I can’t hide it forever. I don’t want to, yet every time I think about telling her, I picture the hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I’ve waited too long now, and it’s going to be a whole thing once I finally confess what happened.
“I want to,” I start. “I just… I need some time.”Coward, I growl at myself.
“Of course. No pressure,” my girl says soothingly. Of course, she’s understanding and perfect. Which only makes me feel like more of an ass.
My phone rings, making us jump. I groan while Sutton giggles, and I can’t help but lean forward and kiss the tip of her nose.
“The real world is calling,” I whisper. “Want me to tell whoever it is to fuck off?”
Sutton laughs but shakes her head no. “It’s okay. I’m almost done with this design project, and I’d like to finish today. So go ahead and do your thing.”
Another ring from my annoying phone, and I grunt, rolling my eyes. “Fiiiine,” I huff dramatically.
I answer the call while Sutton climbs out of bed and heads toward the bathroom. Blade is rattling off my mission for the day, and I calculate how long I think it will take before I can reasonably make it back home to my woman.