Page 66 of Mine To Possess

Then I slip out of her, spent. She stays in place on my lap for a moment, her head still thrown back before she moves away and lays down beside me, panting for breath.

She moves closer to me, snuggling against my side. I want to wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me, but my body is like lead and I don’t have the energy to move. Once Amelia’s breathing returns to normal, she fixes that for me. She lifts my arm, draping it around her shoulders and then she snuggles closer, her head on my chest.

“I don’t want to leave you,” she whispers long after I thought she had fallen asleep.

“I don’t want you to leave me either, but it won’t be for long. And when you come back, we will never ever be apart again. I promise.” I whisper back.

She tightens her hold on me, making my shoulder pulse with pain, but I don’t say anything. I let her hold me as tightly as she wants to. Her hold begins to relax as she falls asleep, and I sigh. I really don’t want her to leave me, but it’s the only way I can guarantee her safety.

It’s worth a few days apart to have her for the rest of my life.

I try to stay awake, to make the time we have left together feel a little longer, but my eyes have other ideas. The adrenaline has long since left my system and the testosterone that kept me awake during our lovemaking has pretty much faded away, leaving me feeling spent.

I kiss the top of Amelia’s head, breathing in the scent of her hair, then I let myself fall asleep inside the circle of her sleeping arms.

36

VIKTOR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTOC_q0NLTk

These have been the longest two weeks of my life.

Every minute has felt like an hour, every hour like a day and every day like an eternity. Not to mention the nights. The nights are the worst. At least through the daytime I have something to think about other than Amelia, something to keep my mind occupied, but at night there is only her, the memory of her scent, her body, her taste… Sending Amelia away, even temporarily and even for her own safety, was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

The morning she had to leave, we woke up early even though we were both still exhausted and we made love. Twice. I didn’t want to let her go and I know she didn’t want to either. We lay in each other’s arms for a long time. Neither of us speaking as if we knew that words would break the magical spell and the day would start for real.

I remember laying there, looking into Amelia’s beautiful eyes and starting to tell myself we could have one more day. What difference would it make? For sure Igor wouldn’t come back to the estate so soon. But even in that brief fantasy, there was a little voice in the back of my head that kept asking what would happen if he did.

I knew that no matter how much I wanted her to stay with me, I couldn’t risk it. I had to let her go. The chances of anything happening that day were very slim, but the chances of Igor getting onto my estate in the first place had been super slim and he had managed that.

Besides, I knew with Amelia around for another day, even another hour, would mean I would want to spend it with her, and I couldn’t afford to be distracted any longer. I had already let myself be distracted and it almost ended in disaster. I had to stop being selfish and put all my focus into finding Igor.

I finally convinced her it was time to go, and we got up and dressed, dragging out every step of the process for as long as we could. Amelia packed her things. Watching that was hard – it felt like she was leaving me for good, but the fact she kept stopping to kiss me told me another story. Her kiss reminded me it was temporary, that she would be back in my arms sooner rather than later, that I wasn’t losing her.

When we kissed goodbye, it was a kiss that lingered, one that stayed with me long after she was gone. I felt like I could still taste her on my lips hours later. The kiss was more than just a kiss. It was a promise that this was only temporary and that we would be together again soon.

It was a kiss full of love and hope; it felt eternal.

Even on that first day, hell in that first hour, it killed me not to contact Amelia. She sent me a text message to tell me exactly where the trailer was as we had discussed and then that was it. Our contact was done until after Igor was dealt with.

The two weeks that have passed since she had to leave have been like hell on earth. Worse maybe. I could cope with torture, fire and brimstone, anything, as long as I have her. But I don’t. Not now. It’s been too long. I physically crave Amelia, she’s like a drug that keeps me going back for more, always wanting more. Needing more.

And having her gone feels horribly similar to what happened with Lisa. How I pushed my grief and longing aside then and went looking for revenge, not letting myself rest for even a moment until it was done. Several times over the last two weeks, I’ve felt this overwhelming grief rising up in my chest and I have to take a few moments to breathe and talk myself down from it, reminding myself that Amelia isn’t dead, isn’t gone. But I’m handling the situation in pretty much the same way. Trying not to feel my feelings, throwing myself into looking for Igor instead. But at night, I can’t help but think of Amelia, can’t help but wish with all my heart that she was here beside me.

I picture myself kissing her sensuous lips, caressing her body. I see myself fucking her until she’s lost in her pleasure. I hear her saying my name in that raw voice she uses when she’s mid-orgasm. To my horror I dreamed of her. In bed with some other guy, saying his name instead of mine. I see him touching her, fucking her. In my nightmare she laughs at me, telling me she never loved me. I woke up bathed in sweat and had to slowly calm myself down by reminding myself she was coming back – that I know she loves me as much as I love her.

I swear I’m going crazy without Amelia.

Several times I’ve driven out almost to the trailer park, and each time I get as far as the turn off from the main road before I’ve talked myself out of it, reminding myself Amelia’s safety is more important than my desire to see her.

And I’ve driven away again, empty, heartbroken, and crazy with longing. Before Amelia, I never really believed being lovesick was a real thing. I always thought it was something teenagers dreamed up because they didn’t know how to put their feelings into words. I believe it exists now. How can I not believe in it when I’m fucking living it?

So yes, to say the last two weeks have been hard would be an understatement. And that’s without even considering the fact that Igor seems once more to have vanished off the face of the earth. I’m confident he hasn’t left the country though. I know he won’t be going anywhere until he’s finished what he started. And the fact that I’m still alive tells me he isn’t finished.

The evening of the day Amelia left, I had a meeting with Lenny and Jerome again, demanding a progress report from the two of them. Lenny told me neither of the guards had seen or heard anything suspicious. They reported that one moment they were fine and the next moment they were fighting to stay awake. The next thing either of them remembered after that was waking up at Lenny’s place. The toxicology report had come back showing they had both been drugged with heavy but over the counter sedatives – the kind anyone could buy from anywhere. The drugs had been in their coffee.

Lenny had followed up on both leads. Unsurprisingly, the medication route had turned up nothing of any use. There were just too many options, and Igor wouldn’t have had to say or do anything to stand out to get them. He would have just bought them from a pharmacy or supermarket, a face in a crowd, nothing memorable about the transaction. Even if Lenny stumbled across the right store, there was no guarantee anyone would remember Igor, and even if they did, it wouldn’t give us anything useful. We already knew he bought the drugs, and it’s not like he would’ve been discussing his plans for them with the cashier.