Page 5 of Saved By the Wolf

Becca must have heard my hesitancy because she paused, then said, “We’ll take it slow, okay, Jill? I know it’s been a while, and you’re not the same person you used to be, but you’ve been on your own for a week now and everything is going well. You love your job at the florist, and Ray said she saw you smile this morning. You’re making so much progress—we should celebrate that!”

“It’s okay, I think it’ll be great fun, Becca. I look forward to going.” I knew she’d never get off my case if I didn’t agree to go to the party, and part of me did want to go, as I’d loved going to parties before I met Rich. However, the irrational part of me was saying not to go to the party, because a party was where I met Rich. It was also saying I should be smart and stay away from parties altogether, that way I’d never get in trouble again.I should say no; that would be the smart thing to do.I pressed my lips together, trying to prevent the words from escaping.

But Becca, being the amazing friend she was, and someone who knew me well, must have known my internal turmoil.

“Jill, I know your mind is going down in a spiral,” Becca began. “I know it’s because you’re overthinking this. It’s just a party, Jill. We’ll get dressed up, go to the party, dance, hang out with others, and just have a good time. He won’t be there. It’ll just be you and me and a bunch of new people we will meet.”

“I know, Becca.” My voice was quiet but it was firm.

“Okay, then that’s great! I’m so happy to hear that, Jill. This is going to be so fun! And when I come into town tomorrow, we’re going shopping.” There was a moment where it sounded like she pulled the phone away from her ear. She came back on a moment later. “Brandon just came by to tell me I have to go into a meeting. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at ten, okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’s going to be fun, okay?”

I laughed. “Yes, Becca. It’s going to be okay.” I hung up and shook my head. Her worry was endearing, and not for the first time I thought about how lucky I was to have her in my life.

It’s going to be okay,I repeated to myself, determined to banish old ghosts from the past.

* * *

The biggest and funniest costume I had seen in a long time was shoved into my arms. “Okay, I think this is the one,” Becca announced excitedly. “Let’s go try them on.”

“Really? This is what you want to be for Halloween?”

“Why not? It’s a tribute to our younger years when we sat in front of the computer and played without a worry in sight.”

“That’s very philosophical of you.” I laughed, feeling light and free. I hadn’t realized that coming out to shop for costumes was just what I needed at the end of a long week.

“You’re not worried that you’re going to lose face in front of that hunk who lives down the hallway from you, are you?” Becca teased.

“What? No!” I spluttered.

“That’s what I thought,” Becca said, laughing. “If he can’t take you in a Super Mario outfit, then he’s not worth it.”

“Ha ha ha,” I said, taking my costume and heading toward the changing room.

Secretly, I loved them, but I wasn’t going to give in to Becca just yet. I looked at my friend, who was just putting the green hat for Luigi on her head, and said, “You sure you don’t want the sexy witch or sexy police officer? That was more our style in the old days.”

“I’m sure. I want us to be comfortable and just have fun tomorrow.”

I knew what she meant was that she wantedmeto be comfortable and just have fun. The reminder was like a douse of cold water, and I could feel a range of emotions start to pull me down again. My mind started spiraling with thoughts of how I was holding Becca back and ruining her life with my problems. The thoughts swam around in my mind, locking in place so that I couldn’t think of anything else.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Becca looking at me, worry written all over her face. I put on a smile as best as I could, but the sight of her dressed up as Luigi soon had my smile evolve into a genuine laugh.

Becca smiled back, her relief visible. “That’s better. You need to smile and laugh more.” She leaned in close, placing a hand on my arm. “I’m worried about you, Jill. Have you thought more about talking to a therapist?”

I swallowed, the laughter erasing with her question. “Yeah, I’m just not ready to go yet.”

“Okay, but I—”

“Let’s not talk about it right now, okay?” I said with a forced smile. “Let’s purchase these costumes, because I really love what you’ve picked out, Becca. Mario and his sidekick are going to a Halloween party!”

“That’s right,” Becca said, her lips hesitantly curving back into a smile to match mine. “We’re going to be the stars of the party.”

I laughed at her statement. I’m pretty sure we’d be far from that.

Jill