Page 45 of Outrun The Devil
Xavier’s eyebrow arched. “Oh darling, if I was breaking into your apartment, you’d know.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “You’d be screaming my name.” He winked at her.
A flush of warmth crept up Olivia's cheeks, betraying the mix of emotions swirling within her. She quickly averted her gaze, hoping to conceal her momentary vulnerability. Determined to maintain her tough exterior, she let out an exasperated groan, an attempt to mask the underlying turmoil that threatened to surface. She flipped him the finger and left.
Olivia went home. The need and desire to make sure that her daughter was still safe, again, and to wash away the night just had weighed on her. Her fingers kept touching that spot on her neck where Xavier fed from her.
She found her daughter still sleeping as the sun threatened to come above the horizon.
Turning on the hot water, Olivia stepped into the shower.
The hot water cascaded down her body, washing away the grime and sweat from the night before. As Olivia closed her eyes and tilted her head back, she couldn't help but replay the events of the night in her head.
The way Xavier’s hands had felt on her body, the sound of his deep voice whispering in her ear, it had all been so intoxicating. She had known it was wrong to give in to her desires, but she couldn't resist the pull he had on her.
Olivia begrudgingly stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. She had her mission, another crime scene to get to, another victim to identify and inform the family.
And yet, caught between the allure of Nathan's tender kisses and the dangerous allure of Xavier's tantalizing presence, an overwhelming urge tugged at Olivia's heartstrings. It whispered to her, enticing her with the prospect that she wasn't alone in this vast world.
Days ago, Olivia had embraced solitude, convinced that she was better off alone in both her personal and professional life. She had shielded her heart, denying the possibility of opening up to anyone. But now, fate had brought her face to face with two men who desired her, each offering a different path, and she found herself bewildered by the turn of events.
How had it come to this? Olivia questioned, her mind swirling with conflicting emotions. The walls she had built so meticulously were slowly crumbling, leaving her vulnerable and uncertain. She was torn between the safety and familiarity of Nathan's affection and the magnetic pull of Xavier's enigmatic charm.
It was a battle of desires, where her rational mind clashed with the yearnings of her heart. The notion of companionship and connection, of allowing someone to enter her life, seemed both enticing and terrifying. Olivia was faced with a choice, one that had the power to reshape her world.
Olivia understood the allure of denial, the comfort it provided in avoiding difficult decisions, and the messy complications that came with matters of the heart. The thought of choosing between Nathan and Xavier felt overwhelming, and part of her yearned to delay the inevitable.
Why did she have to choose right now? It was a question that echoed in Olivia's mind, tempting her to postpone the decision, to linger in the gray area where she could avoid hurting anyone involved, including herself. It was easier to believe that she could maintain a delicate balance, keeping both men at a distance while evading the need to confront her desires.
But deep down, Olivia recognized the flaw in her reasoning. She knew that by clinging to indecision, she risked causing more pain in the long run. The longer she remained in denial, the more tangled the situation would become, and the greater the risk of hurting those involved. She couldn't keep them hanging, suspended in uncertainty.
Damn it, she'd continue in her boat down that river of denial until she was good and ready.
Chapter Fifteen
Olivia cursed under her breath, the third victim found in this mountainous desert grave. She was shaken by the brutality of it all, yet the same signature from the killer remained - that same sense of calculated cruelty ringing through each heinous act.
Each step she took seemed to weigh heavier on Olivia's shoulders, a physical manifestation of the burden she carried within. The weight of guilt pressed upon her, a relentless reminder of the lives she couldn't save and the choices she questioned.
The image of the woman whose fate had slipped through her fingers haunted her thoughts, etching deeper lines of remorse upon her weary heart.
Every failure, every life lost under her watch, added another layer to the guilt she already bore. It was an unyielding weight that threatened to crush her spirit, a constant reminder of the fragility of human existence and the high stakes of her profession. The knowledge that she held lives in her hands, yet couldn't always protect them, gnawed at her conscience.
The park was so vast, but still not enough to keep the murderer hidden away from the public eye. It seemed he wanted everyone to know what he had done — each crime meticulously planned out with such precision and cruelty that there could be no doubt it was him.
However, underneath these feelings of disgust and terror ran another emotion - something much more complicated and harder to define. Was it admiration for his skill? Sympathy for the pain he must have been feeling. Or perhaps guilt because deep down Olivia knew she shared some of his secrets. A secret they both would never speak of.
Nathan’s voice brought Olivia out of her reverie and back to the reality of the situation. She had kept her visit to Xavier a secret, convinced that Nathan would think she was crazy if he knew what she had learned. But still, she feared being alone in this fight and longed for someone who could understand what she was going through.
“Long night?” He asked, his eyes showing compassion and understanding.
Absentmindedly, Olivia rubbed her neck through the scarf she wore as she recalled last night’s events. Hopefully, no one paid attention to her accessory choice. She hadn’t told Nathan she went to confront Xavier. There was no way he would have allowed her to go in the first place and second, it would mean telling him what she learned. That fear of Nathan thinking she was crazy outweighed everything else. She didn’t want a partner, yet she feared what said partner would think of her.
“Couldn’t sleep.” She replied, deciding to keep her secret a little while longer. She watched as he offered a slight nod before continuing the conversation. It was a probable answer given Nathan knew how concerned she was for her daughter’s safety after they learned of the missing girl. He offered an understanding smile but said nothing else.
“Run me through it.”
Nathan nodded and walked her through every detail of the crime scene. A young woman in her early to mid-twenties with wounds consistent with very precise incisions made to look like a wolf tore through her. A rune symbol was branded on her neck and two puncture wounds were hidden underneath the rune symbol.
Olivia knew what these details meant but hesitated to say them out loud for fear of judgment. Fear of disbelief. But at the same time, she wanted Nathan to know what seemed so obvious to her.