Page 205 of Hate to Love You
Jaxon snorts loudly, shaking his head.
“Does she know that you’re in the mafia?”
I nod, setting the glass down on the table.
“And how did she take that?”
“Remarkably well, actually,” I shrug.
“Do you think…” He pauses, narrowing his eyes at me. “She’s tried to kill…you?”
“No, of course not,” I scoff, waving him off.
“Are you sure?” He presses. “I mean, you just admitted she’s a serial killer, and that’s kind of what they do.”
I grin.
“She wants me,” I say smugly. “Besides, she defended me the other night.”
“...And killed someone else in the process.”
For some reason, his words seem to poke a tiny hole in the unwavering belief I have about Abby.
“She hasn’t tried to kill me,” I say, playing off the gnawing sense of doubt that threatens to creep into my mind. “I’m sure of it. She feels the same way about me as I do about her.”
Jaxon stares at me for a moment, almost as if he wants to say something, but then changes his mind.
He concedes with a shrug.
“Who would’ve thought,” he scoffs, clearly amused. “That the ol’ Russian Rooster, and famous one-night bed-hopper, would get his heart snatched by a femme fatale.”
I sigh, my eyes falling to the table.
“Not me, that’s for sure.”
“So now what?” Jaxon says, asking the very question that’s been bouncing around in my brain.
All I can do is shake my head.
“I don’t know,” I whisper quietly. “I mean, I obviously can’t let her run around my ranks, offing my men. And if Polina, or anyone close to Polina found out…well, I’m sure you can imagine how that would go.”
He nods silently.
“By that logic, the smartest thing to do would be to send her far away from this place, and hope that Polina finds some new little fuckboy to distract her,” I sigh.
Even though there is truth in my words, I hate every single one of them, as they feel like knives plunged into my chest.
“But…” Jaxon says slowly, his eyes falling to the table. “You can’t stand the idea of being parted from her.”
I watch as a subtle, knowing smile spreads across his face as he spins his wedding ring on his finger.
“Yep,” I say, clicking my tongue in my mouth. “What do you think I should do? Do I take the risk?”
“Well, unfortunately I don’t have experience dating a serial killer,” Jaxon says, taking a deep breath. “However, I have learned a few things while dating a very feisty nurse, who I guess technically has killed a couple of people.”
“Ooh,” I grin playfully. “Something tells me I’m going to like this one. But go on.”
“You know as well as I do that nothing in this life is guaranteed. Everything is a risk. We’re cutthroats, and monsters, and assholes who have to fight for every morsel we can’t steal. Our very existence teeters on the edge of a knife, and every day we gamble with our lives for money, or power, or respect. But no matter what bullshit we have to wade through, we press on, because we have no other choice.”