Page 36 of Hate to Love You

But I can’t keep having Teddy pining after me, it’s not fair to him. It’s been years since I dated or had any form of sexual encounter.

My husband ruined that for me too.

I used to love sex. The thrill, the power, the release it gave. But he took that from me. He wouldn’t care if I wanted it or not, it was his wife’s duty to provide it, and it was his right to take it.

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would’ve been if I hadn’t said yes to prom? What if I didn’t fall in love with Garrett? Would I have become who I am today?

It’s because of him that I’ve killed fifteen men in the last two years, all of whom abused their partners.

I grab the shower gel, rubbing it into my skin, washing away the grime from The Studio.

“Alexa, shower off,” I say, stepping out and grabbing a towel off the heated rack to wrap around my body.

I rub my hands across the mirror, revealing my weary looking face and body. I used to hate my appearance, my curves and was told I looked frumpy. And maybe I did, in those god-awful clothes I was required to wear.

Once dried off and I grab an I Prevail shirt that comes down past my knees from the walk-in closet and jump into bed, the glowing numbers from the bedside clock burn into my eyes.

2:00 a.m.

I’ve done all I can do, now I just have to hope that the tracking software does its job.

Chapter Seven

ROMAN

“Gone? What do you mean she’s gone?”

My voice is quiet, far too quiet for the club, but the immediate panic reflected in Igor’s eyes tells me he heard me even in the noisy crowded VIP.

“Boss, I…I…went to find that woman you pointed out to me, but I can’t find her.”

“Are you fucking blind?! She was right there!” I snap, frantically looking out over the dark and smoky dance floor to the stool at the bar where I saw her. But Igor is right.

The Brunette may have been here, but now she’s just gone.

I can’t believe this.

After obsessing about her, dreaming about her, and wondering where she’s been for the past four years, she was right here, in my club and finally within my grasp.

…And somehow, I’ve let her slip through my fingers. Again.

Goddamnit!

I’m furious, because a part of me knew I should’ve just gone to talk to her myself.

But my pride thought it would look more impressive if one of my men went and invited her up to VIP to meet me.

However, somehow this drunken dickhead lost her in the crowd.

“Look again!” I shout at him, shoving him hard in the chest with my finger. “You go down there, and you comb the entire building until you find her!”

“Boss, I swear, I’ve searched the whole club, and she’s not here,” Igor says, as apologetically as a two-hundred-and-seventy-pound Russian man made of sheer muscle can possibly say. “I even had Lizzie check the bathrooms. I think she just must’ve left, brother.”

I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt a stronger desire to throw someone off a balcony. In an instant my hands are around his neck, pushing him closer to the edge.

“Boss! Wait!” Igor squeaks, stumbling backwards.

Despite him being larger than me, my fury overpowers his brute strength and I slam him hard into the steel railing.