Page 79 of Hate to Love You
I stare at him, blinking and trying to make sense of what he just said, wondering if it’s code. But Pasha just rolls his eyes.
“The Instagram model who wants to meet me? You know, the one I showed you with the fine ass and those fucking cantaloupes?” He grins, squeezing a pair of imaginary tits.
“Oh my God,” Polina groans, rolling her eyes. “Are you serious right now?”
“Like a heart attack,” Pasha says dismissively before placing a sarcastic hand on Polina’s shoulder. “Oh, my bad, Sis. Is that still too raw for you?”
“Fuck you!” She snaps angrily, jumping to her feet. “In case you didn’t notice, we are actually in the middle of something, so why don’t you run along, Puppy.”
“This is more important,” Pasha says, ignoring and turning to me. “Roman, I’m nervous. I’ve got this big date with her, and I…well, I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“What?” Polina scoffs.
“You?” I snort. “Nervous? About a girl? I don’t beli—”
But then it hits me.
He’s lying to get me out of this meeting with Polina.
“Yeah, she’s like, oof, sooooo hot, you know?” Pasha says, using his hand motion to demonstrate his brain exploding. “And like, I just don’t want to fuck it up, so I need your advice. Especially, you know, for that first night?”
“Ugh, gross,” Polina says, throwing up her hands.
“Well, it is important to make a good impression,” I say, nodding along with him. “Do you have a plan?”
“Yeah, check it,” he says, biting his lower lip in a grin. “I got a table at Albertos, and then I was thinking that she’s gonna be expecting me to take her to a club, or something like that, so instead, I’m going to do the carriage ride through Central Park! Totally stun her!”
“Smart move, honestly,” I say, rubbing my chin, deliberately furrowing my brow.
“Roman!” Polina whines, throwing her hands in the air.
“Quiet, Polina!” I snap at her. “Can’t you see the boy is in the middle of explaining his first date plans with a very elusive bikini model.”
“With cantaloupes!” Pasha adds excitedly. “Oh my god!”
“What?!” She gasps incredulously.
“Please, continue, Pasha.”
“Okay so then I’m going to take her back to the apartment and like slowly take off her clothes and go down on her for I dunno, probably an hour or so? Give or take?” Pasha shrugs. “I’ll act like I want to keep going, and pretend like I don't want her to go down on me, but obviously I ain’t gonna stop her or anything if she wants to return the favor. Cuz like, you know sometimes when I get nervous, I get that erectile dysfunction thing, so my dick just doesn’t—”
“Ew! Ew! Ew!” Polina says, waving her hands in the air and storming out of the office. “You’re both fucking disgusting!”
Without so much as a look back she stomps all the way to the elevators and hits the button.
Pasha and I step out of the office, and after doing a quick little verification that the Wicked Witch of Central Park West is indeed gone, we immediately break into laughter.
“Fuck, that was amazing,” Pasha laughs, clapping his hands together so loud that it makes Abigail jump. “Did you see the look on her face?”
“I did,” I chuckle, slapping his shoulder. “I have to admit, that was actually pretty impressive, little brother.”
“Well, you know me, Heh,” he says, popping his collar. “Impressive is my middle name.”
All I can do is just roll my eyes.
Suddenly Pasha turns to Abigail.
“By the way, um, hi,” he says with a grin, extending his hand. “I’m Pasha Antonov. I know I said that, before I ran into Roman’s office and all, but I feel like that was kinda rude, and I should formally introduce myself. I’m Roman’s kid brother. The youngest. But like, also the best looking. Obviously.”