Page 65 of Nineteen Eighty
“Yes, Maureen.” Augustus wiped his palm over his face, sighing. “I won’t cover any of this up for him, not anymore. Maybe I’ve been intentionally ignorant, but I really didn’t know it had come to this. I thought being a father… well, I thought he had better sense than this. And if he’s hurting people like Soren, who’ve done nothing wrong, then he’s spinning out of control. Whether he deserves punishment is between him and God, but we’ve all enabled this behavior for too long.”
Maureen’s tears spilled unabated now. A powerful relief, months in the making, washed over her, rendering her dizzy. “You’ll really go with me to the police?”
“I will.”
She realized she was shaking when Augustus reached across the table to steady her hand.
“It will be okay.”
Augustus shifted in the cracked plastic chair at the police station. Beside him, Maureen was wound so tight he wondered if she might take off like a spaceship.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know what Charles was capable of. If anyone did, it was the brother who’d once been his closest friend. He wasn’t naïve enough to think the teacher was the only one, and when he suspected Charles’ involvement in the deaths of those homeless kids, he’d done some light smoothing with the authorities. But what Maureen described was horrifying. This wasn’t a man protecting his family. This was a man spiraling into madness.
No, not spiraling there. Living there.
He’d always struggled with his role in protecting Charles from his actions. At the time, it had seemed they had no other choice. With Evers, everything had happened so fast, and they had to make a decision. Over time, the wound festering between him and Charles faded, and he could almost forget that once upon a time his brother had killed a man. But he hadn’t forgotten, he’d just allowed himself to live in a world where people could change.
In turning his back, Augustus, too, was complicit. He didn’t know if helping Maureen hold their brother accountable could make up for that, but if any of them deserved closure, it was Maureen.
“Mr. Deschanel? Mrs. Blanchard?” A detective in a brown suit stood before them. “I’m Detective Thompson. Follow me.”
Maureen rose from her chair in a daze, wandering forward like a zombie. Augustus put a steadying hand on her shoulder and fought back his fears about what today’s visit to the police might bring down upon their entire family.
“Have a seat,” Detective Thompson said, as he closed the door to a small room. There was only a brown laminate table and three chairs, like the ones in the waiting area. Augustus had to nudge Maureen to snap her from the strange reverie she’d fallen into. “You said you had information regarding the disappearance of Soren LaViolette?”
“Yes, well, um…” Maureen wrung her hands. Beads of moisture appeared at her brow. “I’m sorry, I was wrong. I didn’t mean to waste your time!” She bolted from the room, leaving Augustus to share a confused look with the detective.
“Sorry, she’s not herself right now,” Augustus said, before following her.
He found her outside, one hand on a bench, keeling over as if ready to retch.
“Maureen, what was that? What’s going on?”
“I can’t do it,” she said, heaving over the back of the bench.
Augustus rubbed the center of her back, confused. “Breathe. Just breathe.” When she was finally calm, he eased her onto the bench. “I don’t understand what just happened in there.”
“I couldn’t do it.”
“Why?”
Maureen’s splotchy face turned to him. “Why? Because it’s not just about him anymore, is it? I love Nicolas and the girls. What happens to them when their father goes to prison and their name is tainted in New Orleans? What future will they have, the heirs of a family whose name has been reduced to terrible violence?” She wiped at her eyes. “What happens to Mama when she has to watch her oldest son spend the rest of his life in prison, in disgrace?”
“Charles should have thought of those things before he did what he did.”
“But he didn’t,” Maureen said, sniffling. “Because he never does. And if I do this, our whole family unravels. Everything. All of it. All of us. That’s the reality, isn’t it? If I let him get away with it, we suffer. If I don’t, we suffer. There are no winners, except Charles.”
“No,” Augustus said. “Despite all this, Maureen, Charles isn’t winning either. He’ll never be happy. He never has been.”
“Cry me a fucking river,” she hissed. “Maybe the family is cursed. Maybe this is what they mean. Damned if we do, damned if we don’t. We get to live in a hell of our own making.”
Augustus wound his hand through hers. “I want you to be happy. You deserve that. What can I do for you? Anything.”
Maureen leaned into him and let the rest of her tears pour out, against his chest. Several minutes passed before she answered.
“This is my cross to bear, Aggie. That I have to live with the pain while Charles never will.” She looked up at him, smiling sadly. “I think I’m done with this family.” She touched his cheek. “I’ll be eternally grateful for what you did today. You were the only one with the courage to join me. But the others… I have to do what’s best for myself and my children. I have to do what’s best for my family. And that means breaking away, to a place where Charles can’t hurt me anymore.”
CHAPTER 18