Page 70 of Nineteen Eighty
She didn’t know who this man was who’d replaced her husband, but when he said the words, a switch flipped within her. One that pushed aside their hurtful past, replacing it with a path of bright light ahead. Only the good things were allowed there now. Only the colors that painted their happiness.
“Sweet Maureen. Your happiness is more important to me than anything in the world,” Irish Colleen said. Tears trickled down her skin, which had long since lost its pliancy. Age spots colored around her eyes and mouth. “Maybe more than all the others. You’re so like me. More than you’ll ever know.”
Maureen smiled, lowering her head to hide the tears. “Oh, I know it, Mama.”
“You wrap your beautiful family in a loving cocoon, Maureen, and you hold them tight in it, until everything else fades away.” Her bony hands squeezed Maureen’s knee. “And you don’t worry about what others think. We spend too much of our lives focusing on that and are none the happier.”
Maureen sobbed into her hands. “I want that, Mama. To be happy. I want that more than anything.”
Irish Colleen stood and knelt by her daughter’s chair, gathering her in her arms. “And so you will be, now, my darling. So you will be.”
Augustus passed the bread basket across the table to Colin.
“Thanks for meeting me on short notice, and in the middle of the holiday season. I thought it was best to get this sorted before Christmas,” Colin said, tucking his napkin in his lap. “And for the excuse to eat at Mr. B’s. My favorite.”
“Mine as well,” Augustus said. “Try to serve a good Gulf shrimp in my house, and Ana will let you have it.”
Colin grinned. “Is she even from Louisiana? Maybe the stork delivered her?”
“Oh, she’s a Deschanel, through and through. I’d know that temper anywhere.”
“At least part of why we’re here, I suppose,” Colin said. He buttered his bread, but left it untouched on his plate. “You think your brother is starting to realize things about himself?”
Augustus did think this, but he knew too much about Charles now to give him a pass. Knowing what he knew changed things. This knowledge had taken such a hold on Augustus that he had half a mind to force a judge to let him adopt Nicolas. The girls, too. “Such as?”
Colin cocked his head. “Come on, Augustus. If Charles didn’t have his money, and his name, he wouldn’t have many kind words said about him. You and I, we know him. We know he’s better than the things he does, and we love him for who he is beyond that. But fatherhood only changed him so much. That he realizes this might be a turning point for your brother.”
“For all his faults, Charles loves his children,” Augustus said carefully. “On some level, some place where his ego doesn’t hold so much sway, he knows they need more than he can give him.”
“Whether he knows it or not, it’s true. But it’s good he came to us, anyway. Better for it to be his idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, only that I’ve been thinking the same thing for some time. That those kids, especially Nicolas, deserved a better father.” Colin held his hands up. “Now, hear me out. I love Charles. He’s my brother, too. But he’s so hot and cold with the boy, and I can see it in Nicolas’ eyes when he comes back after a weekend at home.”
Augustus didn’t have time for Colin’s wishy-washy view of Charles. He’d never been willing, or able, to see Charles for who he was, and that whitewashing existed as a wall in their friendship that kept both sides happy. But it was an illusion. A lie. “How about this, then? I’ll keep Nicolas during the school week and then you can have him Friday night through the weekend.”
“When will Charles see him?”
“I don’t know. But that’s not really our concern right now, is it? We’re here about Nicolas.”
“I suppose so.” Colin frowned, thoughtful. “So much has changed in a decade, don’t you think? Ronald Reagan is going to be president next year. An actor, would you believe?”
“Maddy would be rolling in her grave.”
Colin laughed. “And look at all of us. We’re family men and women now, all of us. Even Chelsea is talking about having some children. But I feel compelled to mention how much Charles has changed, too, since we’re here about him. About his son. He’s not the man he was ten years ago, or even five.”
“That’s true of anyone,” Augustus challenged.
“He’s always been a hard man to love,” Colin went on, and Augustus had the feeling he was talking more to himself. “But to love a man like Charles Deschanel is to know a man the outside world refuses to. You know, for years there were rumors, about him and my Cat. Stupid rumors. Neither one of them is capable of hurting me like that, but it didn’t stop tongues from wagging in this town.”
Augustus thought that if there was an Olympic sport for self-delusion, Colin would win it with flying colors, year after year. “It doesn’t matter what others say.”
“No,” Colin said with a dreamy look. “But I always wished for a woman for Charles like Cat. Someone who could love with her passion.”
Augustus was relieved when the waiter delivered their food. An excuse to stop talking, and for Colin to do the same. “Whatever he has with Cordelia, it seems to be keeping him satisfied for now.”
Colin smiled sadly as he went in for a bite of his shrimp and grits. “For now.”