Page 24 of Songs of Vice
Sai glared at him.
“I’m contrite, Sai, I swear it. But you gotta admit, that one was square on.”
The show reversed until everyone in our group disappeared from the room, and even Orman slipped backwards through the front door. Sai heaved another breath and nodded for us to exit. When we made it outside, he clapped his hands and light gleamed through the windows as cheering and the crunch of a punch landing echoed through the alley where cobblestones sparkled in lamplight.
“All right,” Sai said. “On to the next meeting spot. We have one more being.”
Orman frowned at him but didn’t ask questions. That’s something I was noticing. Even when others disagreed with Sai, they rarely questioned him. There was some unspoken trust with him. Sai slowed beside me until we removed from the group. “Have you had time to consider our offer?”
“Offer?”
“To join our group for this job?”
“Oh.” Heat flooded my cheeks. “You don’t have to extend it anymore.”
He stopped walking. In the cool blue light of the half moon, his eyes looked like dark heavens speckled with golden stars from the reflection of street lanterns. My heart rate picked up again. Apparently, it would never stop its erratic pulsing with him around.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked.
I bowed my head, and a loose strand of hair tumbled in front of my eyes, so I swiped it away. “I messed up in there and didn’t use my powers like you asked. Obviously I’m useless.”
He grabbed my arm, and his touch burned through me, like the blaze of a star. “You can’t truly see yourself that way?”
“I don’t know how to use my magic; that’s what I mean.”
“You compelled me to go to that room with you. If you understood the powers I possess, you would know that’s not a minor feat.”
“I was desperate.” The words came out broken and crackling, like the leaves that skittered across the cobblestone. The group had reached the forest. We stood beneath a lantern, alone under a spotlight that seemed designed to highlight all my faults as I poured them forth. “I needed to get out. But I’m not powerful at all. I hate my magic.”
“You hate your magic?” He stared at me like I just said I’d kicked a dog to hear it yelp. “Why?”
I thought of every human our troupe had manipulated or stolen from. I remembered the deaths that were on our hands because of our magic. “My song is a vice.”
“Is it?”
The way he looked at me, his lips parting, wormed a bad feeling through my gut. Something about this man compelled me. Disappointing him stung. I wanted to find some place in the world where I could be more than a string of failures. “Sirens’ magic is dark magic. You know what sirens are capable of.”
Sai cocked his head. “Do you think typhoons are bad?”
“Wh… what do you mean?” He stepped closer and his smell filled my senses until it seemed to sparkle in my veins, like static under my skin. I could scarcely breathe, much less think straight.
“You’ve been farther south, where the typhoons hit?” Sai asked.
“I have.”
“They sometimes flood homes, destroy property, kill animals and humans alike.”
“So they’re bad.” A cat slipped by, twining around a pole before leaping into the alley.
Sai licked his lips. I wondered if they tasted as sweet and burnt and intoxicating as he smelled. “The same rain nourishes the fields that feed the people for the next season as well.”
I turned from him, trying to break the spell he had over me. “They’re good then?”
“They’re neither.”
He moved close enough that his arm brushed mine. He lifted his hand and froze before meeting my eyes. There was a question there. I didn’t know how to answer, how to form words or speak sentences. This was what the headmistress at my boarding school had meant when she shared the dangers of alcohol. A taste was one thing. But some people found substances they couldn’t just sample. It consumed them, became what they lived for. Sai had that allure for me. I nodded, and he stretched his fingers out, brushed hair behind my ear, grazed down the side of my neck so that goosebumps rose in the wake of his touch.
“The typhoons are neither good nor bad,” he continued. “They’re neutral. How they affect people directs how we label them. They possess the power to cause damage and many blessings.”