Page 20 of Spark

My hands balled into tight fists at my sides until my knuckles turned white. With an irritated groan, I turned and begrudgingly marched back into the sunroom, a slight look of fear now plastered on Holly’s face. “Fine! You want me to paint?” I growled as I stormed toward the easel. I grabbed the canvas and slammed it onto the floor. “Then let’s fucking paint!” I then took the tray, set it on the floor next to the canvas, and dipped my fingers into the black inky acrylic paint.

Kneeling down, I traced my paint-covered fingers angrily along the canvas, brushing it in all different directions. For several minutes, my blood rushed wildly as I swept more globs of black paint along the canvas, occasionally mixing in some gray or red. Holly stood off to the side, completely ignoring her canvas as she watched me uneasily. My heart raced while my breathing was quick and sharp; my blood pulsed through my veins with every stroke of my finger. I was sure finger painting on the floor wasn’t what Holly had in mind, but hey, at least I was participating.

When I was satisfied with my canvas, I took the bottom of my fist, covered it in a giant gob of blood red paint, and slammed it down on the middle right area of the painting. I then quickly picked it up and roughly placed it back on the easel to watch the red paint from my fist begin to slowly drip down the canvas.

My masterpiece.

Holly said to let the colors speak for themselves, and I did. Those colors spoke a thousand words, but they would never be heard. No one on this fucking island was listening to those words; no one would even care to understand them… except one, and he would punish me for it.

I looked down at my bare hands covered in black and red paint like I had murdered someone with the blackness of my own heart. I turned my back on the painting and a concerned Holly as I walked out of the room toward the bathroom. I didn’t even care that I got wet paint on any handle I touched as I vigorously washed my hands in the sink, rinsing my darkness away.

And when I was clean, I parked my ass on the bathroom floor, pulled my knees to my chest, ran my hands through my hair, and took several deep breaths to calm down. I wanted to scream; I wanted to cry, and rebel, and break all kinds of shit, but it would do no good. I was not helping myself here. Holly was here to make me better, but the only thing she had successfully done was piss me off.

This was exactly why I didn’t need her!

I didn’t know what the fuck Darren was thinking. Did he think she’d somehow annoy me back to health? Maybe it was my motivation to get better, so I’d never have to see her stupid ass face again. Darren did have a sick sense of humor.

After ten minutes of trying to calm my shit down, I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

“Jaden? Are you all right?” came a timid voice from the other side.

“I’m fine, Holly. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, take your time. I’ll be just outside.”

Great.

After my minute was up, I stood and caught my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t recognize her. And I shouldn’t because technically, she wasn’t even alive anymore. She died a long time ago in an alley from a drug overdose. And the thing that replaced her was nothing shy of a failure.

No. That wasn’t true. I had successfully completed my goal. I had escaped and got my family out of Darren’s reach. That was all I really wanted. I knew someone would eventually catch me, but as long as I had gotten the job done first, then it would be worth it. I would pay those consequences if it meant I could save them. And I did, so I was. I had to take the bad with the good. I had to find my colors in the dark even if the only color was red; otherwise, I’d be swallowed whole and never resurface.

As much as I hated to admit it, I had to give Holly a chance. I doubted her skills as a physical therapist could help me, but maybe I could at least be grateful for her company. After all, she was the only one allowed to talk to me casually.

I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to dispel the anger in my eyes before I opened the door and leaned against the frame. Holly was sitting on a bench in the hallway. Hank and Blondie remained standing at their posts in front of the sunroom.

“Jaden, are you okay? I didn’t think—” Holly spoke quickly, like she was going to apologize, but I cut her off.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry you had to see that, but I have a very short fuse, and I’m not very good at controlling my anger. At least right now.”

Holly smiled, pleasantly surprised by my apology. “It’s okay, Jaden. I understand. Don’t worry, though. We will figure this out together.”

I nodded in acknowledgment. There would be a lot of shit to figure out in the next few weeks.

“So what’s next on this crazy train of yours?” I asked with a smirk.

She positively beamed.

“Well, it’s a bit early, but I thought we could have lunch on the patio. Are you hungry?”

I wasn’t really that hungry, but whatever. I’d be the good little puppy and follow.

“Sure,” I said and allowed her to lead me out to the patio, Hank and Blondie hot on my heels.

Our lunch had been placed on a small round bronze table for two at the far corner of the patio, closest to the water. As we sat down, the staff poured us the same detox water we had on the beach and then removed the lids covering out plates. The moment I saw it, I almost flipped it off the table in rage and disgust.

A steaming bowl of chicken stir-fry sat in front of me, mocking and distasteful.

“Something wrong?” Holly asked as she picked up her fork, concern all over her face again. I quickly looked up to brush it off.