Page 20 of Paying The Vampire
Goodbye, Mother.
Her cackling laugh echoed through my mind, the last remnant of her still locked inside, a piece of her that I could not purge no matter how hard I tried.
All these things weighed on me and tormented me. All the years I had lived gathered up and dragged me down. I bowed my head and clamped my hands around my scalp, my nails digging into the thin skin through the oily black hair. I wished it was possible to tear thoughts directly out of a mind. I wished I could be young again, unburdened by all that I had witnessed, all that I had done. Sometimes people became too old to live, like a tree that creaked under the weight of its own branches, teetering to one side, the roots rotting because of age. I could feel myself becoming like that, and how I envied Willow for having so much ahead of her, for being so filled with sweet life that she could hope for better days ahead, how I wanted a taste of that for myself.
These sleepless nights were agony to me. How I wished I could have dreamed like I used to dream, snuggling up inside a warm cocoon and taking a break from the world, ignoring all the problems that plagued me. I wanted my mind to be able to soar and dance and conjure strange and wild images, to create dreams from the depths of my mind and allow me to process thoughts in new ways. I wanted to rest, to feel renewed and rejuvenated, to rise from slumber knowing that a new day approached rather than living through the same long, endless night.
Then something shook me from my maudlin thoughts. I felt something in the castle, something that should not have happened. I raced outside to the courtyard and looked up. I could see an amber glow squeaking through the shutters of the repository. No… Willow what were you doing? Why would you do this without me?
My cloak billowed out of me as I raced through the castle. There was a flash of fire and brimstone as I turned into a bat and flapped my wings, rushing upwards until I reached the heights of the tower. The air bled with magic, but I was confused as to why Willow would do such a thing at all.
I changed back into my usual form and I broke into a run, bursting through the door. As I did so I saw a sight that I had not expected to see. Willow was standing there with her hands placed over a crystal ball, her hair rising as though it was pulled by strings. The torch flickered manically behind her and inside the orb there was a face I had not seen for a long time, and even though she had aged I still recognized Clea, and my expression turned sour for I feared that Clea was poisoning Willow against me.
“What are you doing?” I declared, my cloak billowing behind me as I disrupted the spell with a wave of my hand. Willow’s hair fell back into its usual style, although it was more tousled, Clea’s visage vanished from the crystal ball. The air settled as well, the arcane energy now diminishing. My glare was fixed on Willow. She looked shocked, and guilty. She was speechless.
“Why are you speaking to her? How did you even know that you could speak to her? I brought you here and invited you into my home and now you are breaking your trust to me. I do not understand this Willow. Have I not been a good host? Have I not shown you courtesy and respect? Yet you come to this room in the dead of night when you should be resting and you come into a room without my permission and use my things for this… and you have no idea how badly things could have gone wrong! If you weren’t careful you could have killed yourself. You could have ripped open a hole in the universe. You could have summoned unholy creatures.”
I was aghast with rage and betrayal, and she cowered before me. I had expected many things from her, but not this. I paced before her.
“Willow, I chose you because I thought you were special. I did not anticipate that you would go behind my back. I told you that I would help you search for a way to release the wolf inside you, and all I wanted was your trust and your companionship. I did not think it was too much to ask. But now you test me… you test me and I do not know what to do with you. You should not have come in here and used this without me, and why… why would you ever think to contact her?” I asked.
Willow looked like she was going to burst into tears.
“I… I’m sorry Cassius.” She took her hands away from the crystal ball and held them close to her heart. She leaned forward and pitiful words dripped from her lips. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just… I could not sleep and I was reading through these tomes and I found out about this artefact. It said that it could contact anyone in the world and I thought… I thought I needed some advice.”
“Advice? What kind of advice?” I snapped.
“Advice on how to please you,” she whispered. Her gaze fell to the floor, but then quickly darted towards me. I paused for a moment and she continued speaking. “You are right. You have been so kind to me and I am ever so grateful. You took me away from a world that did not want me, and you have offered me the opportunity to learn and grow. I wanted to be able to give something of that back. I wanted to be able to be good to you just as you have been good for me. When I discovered this opportunity I thought that I had to take it because I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to do anything like this again. As far as I know Clea has been your only other companion, and I know that you sent her away, but I thought if she could just give me any insight in how to please you then I would be able to do better with you. I’m so sorry if you thought that I betrayed you Cassius because that wasn’t my intention at all. I only wanted to be the best companion I could possibly be for you. Please don’t be angry with me. Don’t send me away. I still want to learn. I want to be taught everything you know, please.”
She threw herself to the floor as her emotion got the better of her. She clasped my hand tightly and pressed her cheek to it as crystal tears trickled down her cheeks. My old stony heart was moved by this display of passion, and I felt guilty for having erupted with anger towards her. When I spoke next I ensured that my voice was calm.
“I am sorry Willow. I did not mean to frighten you. It’s just that I am so worried. I know how things in this room can go wrong. It’s why they are up here in the first place. You should not have come here by yourself.”
“I know,” she wailed and sniffed, “I’m sorry. It must have been because I was tired. I should have just stayed in bed. I should never have let my thoughts get the better of me at night.”
“No, well, lesser people have been plagued by the same affliction. I can see that your heart was in the right place, but please understand that any restrictions within this castle are there for your safety. And I would also like to say that you do not need to seek Clea’s wisdom because she can offer nothing for you. You are a more suitable companion than her. Clea did not fit into this world. I showed a lack of judgment with her, one that I corrected as soon as possible. There was nothing that she could have shown you. You are the perfect companion already,” I said, feeling emotion swell within me. The feeling of her warm breath against my hand elicited something that I had not felt for a long time. She looked up at me with her beautiful wide eyes. They held so much promise that I almost had to look away because of their intensity, but I was held in rapture to them.
She rose slowly, her body gently pressing against mine. She still had a hold of my hand. “Thank you Cassius,” she bowed slightly, and as she did so her head dipped and my gaze fell down her body, moved again by the gentle curves and the arousing nature of what she was blessed with. “I am sorry again. I promise I won’t do anything like this again. I shall go and rest now. I think I need the time to gather my thoughts.”
She kept her head bowed in supplication as she took her hand from mine. Her footsteps were light as she left the chamber, but as she reached the door I asked her a question that gave her pause.
“Willow, out of curiosity, did Clea tell you anything of interest?”
“No, she didn’t. I wasn’t able to make a connection to her,” Willow said. I nodded. That was a relief at least. The last thing I needed was Clea meddling in my affairs. “I shall tidy up here. You rest, and we shall see each other again tomorrow.” I picked up the crystal ball and placed it back into the cabinet. My gaze drifted around the other magical items and my throat tightened. It had been a long time since I had been in this room, faced with these items of such power. My hands began to tremble and I had to forcibly tear myself away from them, staggering back down to the depths of the castle. The only respite I had from my own mind was to hold my hand next to my cheek, for it was the hand that Willow had touched. It was still wet with the warm moisture from her tears, and her scent still lingered. I clung to these as a drowning man would cling to driftwood.
Chapter Sixteen
Willow
I hurried down the stairs and slammed the door to my chamber, pressing my back against it as I did so. I gulped in breath to calm myself, although my heart was beating frantically. That had been a close call, and I knew that if there were more of these Cassius’ suspicion would be aroused. I pulled out the note that Clea had written. I had managed to hide it back in my dress before Cassius had noticed, so at least he hadn’t learned of the warning. Now that I knew it I had no need for it, I tore it up into little pieces so the writing would never be read again. Clea had given me the next clue to chase, but she had not been able to tell me any more. Before I had the chance to ask her any questions Cassius had interrupted.
Had he truly been concerned for me, or was he worried that I might learn something he wanted to keep hidden? I suppose both things could have been true, and I was just glad that he had believed my theatrics. Throwing myself at his mercy had cooled his anger, because before this I felt like a scolded child, and I was convinced he had been about to punish me.
One thing was clear though; I was going to have to tread carefully until I learned the truth. If Cassius caught me again then it was unlikely he was going to believe the same lie, and the more I acted in this coquettish way the more I was going to have to display these feelings to him on a regular basis. I could not act cold towards him, even if I began to fear him, for then he would suspect something as well. I could feel myself being caught in a web and I was not sure how I was ever going to extricate myself, so the only way was to move deeper until I reached the truth.
But for now I would rest, even though my mind was reeling and I was trying to understand how I could ever get into Amara’s tomb without Cassius knowing. There had to be a way though, and I was determined to find it.
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