Page 26 of Paying The Vampire

“I was playing piano at a ball when she winked at me. At the end of the night I approached her and tried to arrange a further meeting, but she laughed and said that a musician would never have been able to afford to court her. I took this as a challenge. I wanted to prove myself to her, and so I tried and tried to be a success. But even when I wasn’t, I thought that if she got to know me then she would be won over my by love and she would see the truth of it all.

She did not. All that mattered to her was the finest life. She married someone else, someone who could give her all the things that I could not. Then, at my lowest point Amara found me. She turned me and I became something else, but still I longed to prove myself to Imogen. I thought with this newfound strength and power and drive… with this gift of time I would be able to become the greatest musician she had ever heard and then she would have no choice but to accept that she could love me. It took me years, but eventually I became that person and then I went back to her. I marched into her estate, ready to steal her away from her husband, but the woman who greeted me was old. She was tired. She had children herself, and time had ravaged her beauty. I realized then that I had been cursed by Amara, cursed to watch the world wither and die along with anyone that I might love. I remember when I returned to Amara then. She laughed at me as though it was all a game. I knew I would never have the release of death. I was locked in this endless life without being able to touch anything precious, and that was all I really wanted. I never had the chance to feel like I mattered. Anything I accomplished felt hollow because of course I win; I had all the time in the world. All the riches I amassed gave me no pride because it was all simply a matter of time. The only thing that gives life meaning is the fact that there is an end point, because that gives people something to aim for. Without it there is nothing to do but drift away.”

His words drifted too, and my heart went out to him. I could see that he was in a prison, that he wanted to do so much with his life and yet would always come up short. I had no doubt that he had accomplished more during his lifetime than I would ever do in mine, and yet it was still not enough. And I knew it wasn’t just about time, it was also about having someone to stand beside him, someone to remind him why life was worth living. But there were still questions that needed answering.

“Cassius, what happened to the other vampires? Did you kill them?”

The question lingered in the air for a long time. He turned around eventually, finally. His eyes glistened with tears. I had no idea he was capable of crying. It reminded me that there was more to the man than the monster, and I owed him the chance to explain to me what had happened.

“Do you really think me capable of that Willow?”

“I have no idea what you’re capable of Cassius, but I know that you live in a castle with so much knowledge and so many powerful artefacts. I also know that you are the only one here. What happened to the others?”

Cassius sighed before he spoke again. “For a long time we lived in this world in peace. Some vampires chose to return to other worlds and hunt, causing trouble. I just wanted to stay here and mind my own business. We were here for a long time, so long that the world began dying. Amara knew that it was happening. She wanted to push for us to leave our home, to find some other world to conquer. She believed that the vampires had grown complacent and had lost their edge. She was afraid that if there was another war then we would have been decimated, and she knew that if the world died then we would finally die along with it. I knew it too, but I did not see a problem. Vampires live too long, and I thought perhaps it was time for us to fade away. Amara rallied the other vampires while I stood against her. I told her that she was wrong. I wanted her to see the error of her ways, I wanted them all to see… but sometimes when you own something the only way you can have meaning in your life is to hold onto it as tightly as possible. That was what they did with life. They had been alive for so long that it was a habit they could not shake. You might even call it an addiction. But there was a problem. The only suitable worlds they could find were those with other people. Amara wanted to go to war. She wanted to bring more vampires into the fold and I could not cope with the idea of her turning more people, people just like me. I did not want anyone else to live with the curse. So I challenged her. I challenged them all.”

“None wanted to stand with you?”

“A few did, but Amara made examples of them. She only saved me for last because she was my Mother. She took her weapon and she rallied the other vampires, she drove them into a frenzy and she made sure that they were desperate enough to hold onto their lives. They were ready to invade other worlds, to truly be the monsters in all the stories that were told to scare children. I did not want them to accomplish that. I did not want them to continue the reign of terror of the vampires, so I knew that I had to do something to stop them.”

He was protecting all the people like him. In a way he was a hero, and I had judged him for it. I had been afraid because I had allowed myself to see only the vampire, not the man, and I was guilty of doing the same thing as the other wolves had done for me. His voice was weighted with emotion and I could feel how difficult it must have been for him. And there I had been, finding it so easy to cast him aside, to not even think that he might have had another motive. I had believed the villain rather than him.

“How did you defeat them?”

“I tricked them. I interfered with one of their spells and I left them in limbo. I trapped them in a place between worlds. I have often questioned myself, wondering if I truly did the right thing, but then I think about the lives that would have been lost had I not taken measures to stop them. I think about the lust for battle that Amara had in her eyes. She never lost the taste for blood. She would have torn the universe apart in her quest for meaning, and I know she would not find it. And that, Willow, is how I became the last king of the vampires. I sit here waiting for the final days to pass, and I know that when it does the world will be a better place for it. We shall only exist in stories then, and none shall have to suffer the same fate as I did.”

Chapter Twenty One

Cassius

As the words slipped between my lips I felt a great swell of relief. It was as though a weight had been pressing down upon my chest for all these years, and it had been so long that I had forgotten what life had been like without it. Perhaps this is what I had really wanted Willow here for, to listen to my tale of woe. But it did not change anything. I was still the man who had gone against his entire race of people, banishing them to a dark nether realm. Perhaps it would have been kinder to kill them entirely.

Silence hung between us as she digested my words. I did not feel much like speaking. It was perhaps better that we got on with the inevitable. I walked across the room and picked up the ancient tome, dusting off some of the grit that clung to the cover. I walked back to the pedestal and prepared to recite the ancient spell.

“We should get on with what needs to be done Willow. It’s clear that you have been here too long already,” I said. She remained sitting by the pool, and now she looked into the dark waters, studying her reflection. I would miss her thoughtful gaze, and the life she had brought to this place. The memory would nourish me until the sun set on this world. It would have to, for I would not try for another companion. It was clear to me now that nobody could give me what I sought. Nobody could fill this hole that stained my soul. I was just going to have to cope by myself. I had been searching for something that did not exist, and it had almost led me to my doom.

It was a shame because she had promised so much, and even if the kiss had been false it had been real enough to me, and real enough for me to believe even for a moment that she might have had it in her to love me.

“Wait,” she said just as I began to speak. I looked up. She wore a conflicted expression. She drew away from the pool and looked up at me. Did I dare hope? Was this some other trick?

“You don’t have to go back home Willow. I can send you anywhere you want. I can help you find a place where you can belong,” I said, thinking at first that her hesitation was borne from her reluctance to go back to the wolves.

“That wasn’t what you promised me Cassius. You told me that you could help me find the wolf inside. Are you really going to send me away before you’ve helped me do this?” She had now risen to her full height and closed the distance between us. As she grew closer I felt myself getting weaker. Her lips were not the color of rubies any longer, but they were no less alluring.

“I am not going to keep you prisoner here Willow. It’s clear that you cannot see anything other than a monster when you look at me, and perhaps that is accurate. I should not have lied to you, I should not have believed that I could earn your trust. It was a mistake to bring you here, a selfish mistake because someone like you should not be condemned to live in this bleak world. You need majesty and grace. I see that now. I should be the one condemned to be alone.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” she spoke clearly and confidently, without any trace of doubt in her voice at all. “Cassius, I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have come to you first and asked you about what happened. I should not have let myself give in to my fear. I should have trusted you and thought about all the things you had shown me. I am moved by your story. I know how difficult it must have been for you to go against the wishes of the other vampires, because I know what it’s like to stand alone from your pack.” A playful smile curled on her lips, breaking the tension. “I know that it must be an insult to compare the vampires to werewolves, but I see now why you chose me; because I remind you of yourself.”

It was the obvious truth that I had skirted away from. It was something that I had not dared to admit to myself.

“You did the right thing Cassius. You fought against your nature and you protected other people. You made sure that the vampires never rose again. If that’s not the definition of a good man than I don’t know what is.”

I allowed myself a wry smile. “I haven’t thought myself a man for a long time.”

“But you should. There is still much of the old Cassius left within you.”

“Perhaps too much.”

“There can never be too much. I should not have let myself think the worst of you. Did you explain all this to Clea?”