Page 27 of A Minute More
“You okay, boss?” she asks, and I shrug, not wanting to talk about it. I mean, what do I say? Simon kissed me and I ruined it? How the fuck do I even begin to explain it?
Maybe I should have let him kiss me longer? Maybe I should have manned up and fucked him.
The thought jars me, the image of my cock sliding into his hole makes me sweat so I shake it away. I don’t know how the hell that would be possible, and I don’t know why part of me isn’t disgusted at the thought.
I don’t know what part of my brain is scrambled, but something’s not quite right. I have lost my marbles and need help finding them.
“I’m totally fine,” I lie and then move around the shop, doing what needs to be done until it’s time to go. Izzy eyes me with distrust the entire time, knowing I’ve fibbed but not able to call me out on it. Which is fine. It’s totally fine. She’s not privy to the secrets lodged within my mind. Those are for me, and me only.
The rest of the evening I sulk at home, feeling my mouth turned into a frown more often than not, and I end up clicking my phone on and off and staring at the empty screen of Simon’s chat.
Me:
Can we talk?
My message knowingly goes unread. I’m not entirely sure he hasn’t blocked me. I wouldn’t be surprised with the way I’d acted. I probably deserve it.
“Hey, why are you moping around?” Lucas asks, leaning against my doorframe and folding his arms across his bulky frame. He’s the quietest of the bunch, rarely making an appearance, but even so, Idotrust him. And I really do value the time he gives me…when he gives it to me. I know he distributes it so rarely, often disappearing into his workshop for hours on end.
“Just in a mood,” I say and then shift up so I’m on my elbows, eyeing Lucas who is still lingering in the doorway.
“Is this about Simon? Seems you’ve been in a mood since he ran out of the house the other night.”
I sigh, flopping back on the bed and staring at the ceiling. Damn Lucas being so fucking perceptive. His eyes miss nothing. Fucking annoying is what it is. Can’t have a lick of privacy around here with him looming about. He was the same way in college.
“Yeah. Seems I fucked up.”
Lucas is quiet, and I find myself admitting, “Simon…he, uh, kissed me. I didn’t stop him right away…and then I basically told him I’m not gay. With my eyeballs.”
Lucas huffs, his hand running through the unkempt beard on his face.
“Well, shit, Wes. I mean, why did you let him kiss you in the first place?”
“I dunno! I was rooted to the spot. I couldn’t move.”
“Did you like it?” he asks, and I cover my eyes with my hand, sighing loudly.
“It wasn’t bad.”
“Hmm,” Lucas says and my eyes shoot open, my body tilting up once more. Lucas is stroking his beard and looks discerning.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothin’. Just meanshmm.”
“No…” I begin and then hop out of bed, socking him on the shoulder. “What’s that mean? You know something that I don’t.”
“I know nothing. Just wondering.”
Oh god. This is going to take all year at this rate. Fuck, he moves slowly when he wants to. I swear he does this to irritate me.
“Just tell me, goddammit!”
“Fine. Just wondering if you’re bi.”
My mouth opens and closes, my eyes blinking furiously. “What?”
“Could be bi, man. Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you.”