Page 58 of A Minute More
He pauses. “You.”
I cock my head, unsure of what he means, but I let him have the time he needs to explain. I have to know what’s going on in his mind. I can’t take this push and pull. Well, Icantake it, but I don’t want to. I want to understand him more than anything. He’s still such a mystery.
“Seth is a friend from high school…” he tells me, not answering my initial question, but answering one that’s been lingering just the same. “He’s been with me through…a lot of things. And I just called him to talk. I don’t know…I don’t know what this is between us. I don’t know if you know either.”
“I don’t, but I do know that I like it.”
He nods and then sighs, running a hand down his tired face.
“I do too, but it’s overwhelming, and I…I have obligations.”
“Yeah, so you’ve said. But you won’t tell me what they are. Will I ever know?”
He shakes his head, looking guilty.
“I need some space. Because when you’re here with me, I lose all sense of what I should be doing…”
“And what should you be doing?”
He closes his eyes, his bottom lip trembling.
“Being faithful.”
My head rears back and my hand falls from his leg. “Are you in a relationship?”
The thought stuns me because he can’t be, right? He’d never do those things with me if he was. That’s not who he is.
“It’s too soon.”
Those three words tell me nothing and everything all at once. I can read him loud and clear. He wants me and yet he wants me to go.
I don’t know what to do, so I pause. And just as I open my mouth again, a loud knocking reverberates from the front door. It nearly shakes the foundation of the apartment with its violent bangs.
“Simon! Si!” the deep voice shouts.
Simon’s eyes widen and he jolts up. “Oh my god. Oh fuck. Go to my room and don’t come out.Please.”
I stumble up and ask, “Wait, what the fuck is this? It’s two in the morning. Are you in trouble?”
“No. Nothing like that, but he can’t see you. Hecan’t.”
He sounds desperate and distressed, so I do as he asks, moving into the bedroom and shutting the door, pressing my ear against the thin wooden door and listening closely.
“John. John, you can’t come here in the middle of the night.”
“Si. Si. He’s not here…”
“Jesus, you’ve been drinking. Did you drive?”
“No. No.” And then a violent sob.
“Oh, shit. Okay. I’m gonna take you home. Come on. Come.”
I hear some soft murmuring and then the jangle of keys. And then the soft click as the door shuts. I’m left just standing there, naked and breathing heavily in his empty apartment, adrenaline pumping through my body.
Moving away from the door, I run a trembling hand over my face, the rush of hormones from the encounter making my heart rate heighten before crashing. I sink to the edge of the bed and flop backward, staring at the dark ceiling.
Well, I was planning on leaving, but I’m sure as fuck not now. I need to make sure he arrives home safely. So I scoot up the bed and lie down on his pillow, absorbing his scent and closing my eyes.