Page 87 of A Minute More
He shakes his head and then leans forward, cupping my chin and pressing his lips against my mouth.
“You need time…maybe a year. I don’t know. Just until things have settled for you.”
“I’m sick and tired of everyone telling me what the fuck to do!” I nearly shout, standing up and pacing. He’s going to leave. He’s not coming with me. He’s going to fucking let me go.
This is it.
It’s over.
“I’m not telling you what to do, but I think this is too fast. You have to know that.”
“I know what I want. And what I want is you. Even if it is fast, who fucking cares?”
“I do, Simon. This is my heart. You’ve walked into my life and turned it upside down. I…I don’t want to wake up in a year with you regretting me. I want this to work between us.”
“I’d never regret you,” I whisper, feeling the tears fall in earnest. “Please don’t leave. Please stay.”
“Oh, I want to. I so fucking want to. But I can’t.”
“If you leave…I won’t survive it.”
“You will, Simon. You’ll survive because we have a future. We do. You just need time.”
He stands, pulling me into a hug, and I turn my face into his neck and inhale. I cling to him for as long as I can until he moves away from me and grabs his clothes, pulling them on. All I can do is watch as he packs up and leaves. He doesn’t even have a car to get home.
“Let me drive you.”
“No, I’m gonna order a ride. You…” his voice cracks. “We’ll make this work, but I think you need time. This is too fast. It’s too fucking fast. But don’t disappear. Call me sometime when you get settled in college. I want to hear how it is, how you are…but for now, I think we should put things on hold.”
A sob escapes me, and I clench my fist against my heart.
“Please don’t leave,” I whisper.
But he’s already gone.
* * *
“You need to get up. You’ve been moping for too long,” Seth says, but I don’t have the motivation to move. It’s been a month since Wesley walked out of my life, and I feel the absence of him more than I ever felt the absence of James.
I knew it would be like this when I set my sights on him, and yet I went for it anyway. I should have never applied for that job. Should have just stayed away. But he drew me in with those eyes and that smile.
And he wrecked me. I’ll never be whole again.
“It’s only been four weeks. Go away,” I murmur.
He just looms over me, his arms folded across his chest. Seth is really my only friend. He knew James and was friends with him through high school, so he’s seen me at my worst. He knows everything I’ve been through. Although I have a feeling he’s never seen me like this.
“You didn’t even do this with James,” Seth says, and I close my eyes.
“Because Wesley isn’t him. He’s different.”
Seth is silent for a minute, running a hand across his stubbled jaw.
“You need to start packing for school.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Fuck that. You gave it all up for a guy before. I’m not letting you do it again.”