Page 39 of Love You Already

CHAPTER 19

THIS IS ME TRYING.

Rose

What was I supposed to say to Lachlan's declaration? I didn't have a clue what I could possibly give back to him that would even remotely come close to the way he made me feel. This man, my husband, was becoming much more than a stranger I happened to marry. We've turned into friends. Friends who fuck.

But also more.

I want to spend time with him. There's a need to learn as much about him as I can since I know our time is limited. And yet, I know getting closer to him is only going to make things harder later on. How do I want things to play out? Regret not getting to know him or regret learning about him at all?

It's a tough spot to be in. Thankfully, my stomach interrupted the heartfelt moment and sent us searching for food. Of course, I'm once again showing how bad I am at this adulting thing. We'd spent such a ridiculous amount of time shopping for decorations that food wasn't a high priority.

“We can go to the store to get things and then come back to cook,” he tells me after checking the last cabinet for some food. He's opened it twice already, but if he's anything like me, he's hoping something might magically appear if he wishes harder enough.

I swing my legs forward, catching him in the backside as he bends low to check the lower cabinet. My toes bounce off the firm globes he unfairly carries around with him. I didn't realize hockey players had such phenomenal asses before meeting Lachlan. Baseball and football, sure. But hockey was an unlikely answer in my head for best butts around.

“Or we could go eat at the diner for lunch and then get groceries. That might be better. Maybe then we won't buy half the store.”

He chuckles. “I haven't bought much for the house either. It could be dangerous to let two hungry people loose in the store.”

At the mention of his rental house, I get that same sensation as I did earlier. I want to say something crazy, something absolutely off-the-wall that I should really keep to myself. We haven't done things in a traditional sense this whole time, and yet this is the thing that gives me pause.

“What's got you so thoughtful?” Lachlan whispers as he steps between my legs. The counter height puts me in a position where I don't have to tilt my head back to look at him. It also gives me the perfect closeness to observe every feature.

The cut on his cheek. The light freckles dotting the bridge of his nose. His unfairly long lashes. The bit of honey color swirling with the brown in his eyes. All of it added together to be uniquely him.

“I shouldn't say. I can't... won't.” I bite my lip to stop the trail I'm going down.

He reaches up to tug on my lip. “Tell me,” he demands.

I shake my head, stubbornness locking me in this battle of wills against him. His eyes light with fire as he accepts the challenge. I brace for him to tease me with his fingers or to press me against him so I can feel his hard length as I give up in a cloud of lust drunkenness.

He doesn't do either. Not my Lachlan.

He presses a quick kiss to my cheek and whispers, “Tell me.” Then he moves to my nose and does it again. Then my other cheek. My forehead. My jaw. My hairline.

The kisses increase in speed until he has no time to say those two little words because he's too busy peppering my face with kisses. I'm a giggling, squirming mess as I fight to keep the words in.

Abruptly, he stops and pulls back. His eyes meet mine, all vulnerability and sweetness. “Please tell me, Ace.”

I cave.

“Move in!” I shout as I wiggle my way free of his tight grip. His hands drop away as his gaze widens.

His hands move up to cup my face. He keeps me steady as he looks me dead in the eye and says, “Repeat that.”

I swallow thickly. “Move in with me. You work on the ranch anyway. It makes no sense to rent a house you don't even feel comfortable in. Plus... we're married. And we're going to try to convince the town we're dating. How will we do that if you're not here?”

I don't dare mention the fact that no one has brought him up to me in town. There hasn't been a single whisper about our kiss or the way he helped throw out that jerk at the bar the other day. Instead, it's like nothing has happened and yet there's no talk of setting me up either. It's a weird conundrum that's left me feeling like I'm being watched all the time these days.

“You sure you're good with this? The other day, when I mentioned more serious things, you froze up on me.” I move to interrupt him, but he puts his hand up to stop me. “I'm not saying you aren't justified in your feelings, Rose. I'm simply saying that I don't mind living in a house in town and driving out here to see you and to help with the ranch. It is not an inconvenience.”

He's telling the truth. I don't know how to explain knowing he is. It's just inherent. Just like how I know I want him here with me. I want to make a go of having him around all the time.

Reaching up to place my hands over his, I give him my truth. “I know. I know all of it. And still, I want you here. I want to see what it's like to wake up with you beside me. I want to make meals with you and kiss you goodbye on my way to work. How will I ever know if we could work, if we could be more, if I don't try? This is me trying.”

His lips slam against mine in a kiss so hungry my body flies from calm to desperate in three seconds flat. We're a tangle of hands as we rush to get clothes out of the way. From start to finish, it's less than a minute, yet it feels much longer.