Page 47 of Love You Already

“Wow,” she whispers softly, as if she's afraid her commentary might slow me down.

I forge ahead despite knowing the next part is harder to talk about. “My mother and father were a picture-perfect couple. He wasn't Irish, but he loved my mother so deeply that the family didn't care she wasn’t some sweet, Irish girl like they’d hoped for. Their love is everything I've pictured for myself when I thought of the future.” It's what I'm trying to build with you. “There was a car accident the day after I was drafted into the NHL. My parents were heading to surprise me with a trip before I had to show up for my first practice with the team. They'd been on their way to talk to the travel agent one last time since they couldn't do it over the phone. I'd been staying with them and would have overheard them.”

Rose's hand squeezes mine tightly. “Oh, god, Lachlan! That's horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You lost them both?”

Nodding, I let the tears fall as I try to keep a clear head to finish the drive. We're close to the stadium. Just a couple of blocks, then I can purge the feeling that telling this story always brings.

“Mom was gone instantly. Dad made it to the hospital and through surgery. When he woke up, he looked at my tear-stricken face and knew right away. He told me he couldn't live without her and begged me to understand.” Rose's gasp tears through me. I don't tell people this next part typically, because they can't understand how a grown man would ask his son permission to die.

“He wanted to make sure you were ok.”

And that right there, her understanding, is why I knew it was ok to tell my wife. My Rose gets how love works despite not having experienced it or witnessed it in her own life.

“That's it exactly. I reminded him that I'd been drafted and would have all the money I'd ever need. He looked me dead in the eye and told me that he was sorry this had happened. He was on his deathbed apologizing to me for not being able to stick around for me.” The parking lot of the stadium is blurry as I turn in and park crookedly. “I would never have had the same dad as I did before if he'd lived on. Part of him died when she did, and I wouldn't ask him to fight for me anymore. I gave him permission that day to follow her with strict instructions to tell her I loved her and that I'd miss them both. He was gone ten minutes later. Doctor said it was cardiac arrest. I knew better.”

My face is a mess of tears as I choke out the last of the story. I can't see for shit, and I don't know how I'll salvage this date after such a hard conversation.

There's a clicking noise. I barely register it as Rose's hand leaves mine. A whimper leaves me at the loss of touch. It's quickly quelled when she climbs onto my lap, her arms moving to wrap around my neck.

“I'm here, Superstar. I'm here,” she whispers softly as I hold her tight to me. “Let it out. You're safe with me, Lachlan.”

As if she's opened a dam I didn't know I had, I burst into tears. It's every bit of pain I've felt since their death, every memory and achievement they had to miss. I'm overcome with the sadness and loss.

My wife consoles me through it all. She holds the back of my head, her fingers stroking through my hair as she whispers those words over and over.

“You're safe. I'm here. Let it out.”

I'm worn out by the time the tears dry out. When I pull back, she's smiling softly at me, her own eyes watery like she felt pain for me reliving those memories. I kiss her quickly then wrap her in another brief hug.

“Thank you, Ace. I didn't realize how much I needed that,” I admit.

She pulls back again, this time her hands move to my jaw to hold me steady. “You've never let that out before, have you? Never mourned your parents properly?”

I can't really shake my head to answer, which means my “No” comes out all hoarse.

“I figured as much from how you spoke. Thank you for sharing this with me. I'm sorry I derailed our day with the question, but I'm not sorry for getting to know more about you. Every piece and part of who you are makes up the man I've come to know, and I'm rather fond of him.”

“Rather fond, huh?”She grins as she nods.”I'll take that for now.”

CHAPTER 23

HOW HAVE YOU STAYED SINGLE?

Rose

It takes a few minutes and more than a few tissues for Lachlan and me to get cleaned up. When we finally make it inside, there's a lightness to my husband that wasn't there before. It's like this invisible weight had been bearing down on him. His guilt, though wrongly misplaced, had been hindering his emotions without him even knowing.

“I should have known you meant we were coming here when you said you were going to show me all of you,” I tease once we're inside the arena.

He gives me a small smile with a shrug. “This is a huge part of my life most of the year. It's more than a career since the guys are like family too.”

I want to ask about the rest of his family. About the aunts and uncles, the cousins, I'm sure he has. But if the story is anywhere near as sad as the one about his parents, then I don't want to press for details.

He sits me down on a bench next to the glass, then jogs off to a door off to the side. Less than a minute later, he returns with two sets of skates in hand.

“How did you know what size to get me?” He gives me a look that screams, 'duh'.

“I know more about you than you think, wife. Shoes size is merely the start.”