Page 37 of His Long-Lost Baby
She can’t be around him. She just can’t.
I don’t know what seeing the two of them together would do for me, but I know it wouldn’t be good. I might get so angry that I’d just come out and tell James the truth.
And then he would fire me. And maybe get a restraining order against me too.
I’d never get a chance to learn what I need.
“Look,” I say, kneeling in front of Quinn. “I’ll bring you something special back. How about that?”
Quinn’s face lights up, and she throws her arms around my neck. “Okay!”
I hug her back tightly, feeling the weight of my decision. It’s hard being a single mom, making tough choices and feeling like you’re letting your child down. But I have to do this. For Quinn and for myself.
“I finished my reading,” she says sweetly. “Can I have screen time now?”
“Yes. You go out and…”
But she’s already gone, barreling out of the room even faster than she came in.
Monica gently closes the door behind her, and a couple seconds later we hear cartoons from the living room.
“Thank you for staying here with her while I’m gone,” I tell her packing, hoping we can move on from the conversation about James.
Evidently she’s not done with it yet, though.
“Is it more than how hot he is?” she asks. “Is there another reason you’re into him?”
“No,” I say automatically, then pause. “Well… he is brilliant… and so creative.”
“And evil.” She folds her arms and studies me. “Are you okay, Billie? A couple weeks ago you had so much hatred for this guy. He basically abandoned Quinn.”
“I know.” I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at my hands. “Whenever I remember that, I hate him all over again.”
The mattress sags as Monica sits next to me. “That sounds stressful.”
“It is,” I admit, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I just want to do right by Quinn. But every time I think about James, I feel like I’m stuck in a nightmare. I hate feeling this way.”
Monica puts a comforting arm around me. “It’s okay to feel angry and confused. But you don’t have to keep it all bottled up, you know?”
I nod, grateful for her support. “I just wish it was easier. I wish I didn’t have to deal with all of this.”
“I know,” Monica murmurs. “But sometimes the things that are the hardest are the things that are the most worth it.”
I lean my head against her shoulder, feeling a sense of peace wash over me. Maybe she’s right. Maybe this is just a bump in the road. Maybe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
But for now, I need to focus on the task at hand. Hawaii could be the opportunity I need. Maybe James will be drinking. Maybe he will drop his guard and I can go through his wallet or phone. Find some info on his family. Take those names and looks them up.
Or maybe he’ll talk more. Stop deflecting my questions.
“You do look really hot in that,” Monica says. “Maybe you’ll meet another guy on the island.”
I shake my head and laugh. “I doubt it. I’m not really in the mood for anything like that.”
Monica grins. “Well, you never know. Hawaii can be a magical place. It’s where I lost my virginity.”
“I didn’t know that!” I bump my shoulder against hers.
“Yep. Maybe it will happen for you too.” She grins wickedly.