Page 13 of Leave Me Broken
“Have you talked anymore?” Janelle is asking Monica when I wander back from the shower. She eyes me, looking for more scars, no doubt, but I turn for my locker to dress while they chat.
“Yeah, we did for a while but it’s hard, ya know? Attempting to be just friends when we are far from just friends.”
Janelle shoots me a grin and I smile back. “So, when’s the last time you had sex?” I ask as I slip into my clean shirt. Alyssa is lucky I always pack extra clothes. Unlucky for me, I didn’t pack an extra bra or underwear. You can see my nipples through my shirt because I refuse to wear my dirty bra after I’m clean from a shower. I pull on my sweatpants without underwear until there is little to no skin showing between my cropped shirt and sweatpants. I don’t wear crop tops anymore, but I had forgot I cut this shirt last summer before I had an ugly scar I don’t like to show.
“A week.”
All three of us burst out laughing. Janelle and Monica high-five and I fall onto the bench next to them.
“We aren’t together, technically, but we are still hanging out and not fucking anyone else.”
“So, you’re dating?” Janelle chimes.
Monica glances at me with a weird expression. Then it hits me. “I’m not going to rat you out, Mon. You know that.” I’m a little offended that she would think that.
Lucky for me my best friend is a loudmouth. “Yeah, not like he can do much when he’s fucking with a player on the regular.”
My and Monica’s mouths drop open in shock. I stare at Janelle, and Monica stares at me. I snap my mouth shut but it doesn’t stop the stupid redness from creeping up my neck and face. “I—” I fall silent. I wasn’t prepared for this. Janelle knows it too because she can’t stop silently laughing. “You bitch.” I’m really not that upset, Monica is cool, and I know she will get more of a kick out of this than anything. She won’t tell anyone.
Monica bombards me with question after question and eventually I have my bag packed and I turn to her. “You guys up for pizza?”
“Oh, hell yes, you are not getting away from me tonight without telling me how big our coach’s dick is. I’ve seen it through his shorts, so you can’t lie either.”
We are still laughing as we head from the locker room.
“Massive,” Janelle tells her eventually. I just roll my eyes. She’s right—of course, but I’m not discussing this when we are still in the gym.
We are walking by the coaches’ office when the door swings open and Alyssa storms out. She makes us separate so she can storm by. And of course she can’t just walk by. She scoffs and mutters something about leftovers. There’s no time to think about it when her dad walks out. He looks displeased until his eyes land on the three girls frozen in front of him. He eyes each of us individually before his eyes lock with my . . . chest. Monica elbows me and I look down realizing he’s looking at my breasts. My nipples are hard. I knew they were, the gym is cold when you aren’t running. Doesn’t help my hair is still wet either. Mr. Burton isn’t even trying to hide the fact he is staring at my chest and . . . licking his lips. What the hell is wrong with him? Sure, he’s always been creepy but never this obvious about it.
Ash appears from the office, he must know what the holdup is because he walks forward and clamps his hand on Mr. Burton’s shoulder. I can tell by the white knuckles and the wince in Mr. Burton’s face Ash isn’t being gentle. Good, I wish I was Ash’s size so I could punch Mr. Burton for being a creep. Eventually he saunters off after his daughter, leaving the three of us staring at our coach, speechless.
Like Mr. Burton, Ash is having a hard time keeping his eyes up and off my tits. But I actually like his attention. So much that when Janelle clears her throat and he peels his eyes away to address her, I frown. Monica lets out a small squeal. I wonder if now that she knows, it’s easier to see things between us. We try to be discreet at practice and stuff. It’s moments like this, when there are fewer people around that it’s a challenge to pretend we wouldn’t rather be in his office making out. Or more. My body covers in goosebumps at the thought. It’s been a little over a week since I lost my virginity but the memory of how good it felt to have his body all over mine, in mine, hasn’t gone away. I hope it never does.
“Where are you ladies off to?”
“Pizza,” the three of us reply at the same time.
Based on his stiff body language and the annoyance in his face that is not the answer he was looking for, but I guess because we’ve had a long evening, he’s letting it go. “Practice at five a.m. That was not a joke.”
We nod and promise to be there. I really don’t want to be here at five a.m. It’s bullshit we have to suffer because Alyssa is a bitch. It should just be Alyssa running lines until school but then that would require her and Ash being alone, and I don’t want that. So I’ll be here at five a.m., maybe even a little before.
“Alright.” He sighs and my frown returns. He sounds so worn out. I know the fighting bothered him, but I’m not sure how much. I guess having your team—especially one as small as ours—divided can’t be easy on a coach. It annoys me I feel bad even though it’s really not my fault. Okay, maybe I sucked today but I saw no one else on the team shoving me and calling me names. There are ways to communicate, and Alyssa didn’t do it right. Still, I know it’s annoying when a teammate isn’t pulling their weight. I hate to admit it, but Alyssa and I need to come to a middle ground. Us being bitches to each other benefits no one. Even I can admit that. I hate to do it, but I’ll pull her aside sometime tomorrow and attempt to talk to her. If she won’t, then at least I tried. I’m the captain, it’s up to me to keep the team as a team.
I must have zoned out for a while because when I blink, my friends are walking away. Their fronts are to me and they are calling my name. “We need to get to bed early tonight! Come on!” Kiss asses.
I take a step but stop and look at Ash. He is leaning against his door with his arms crossed over his chest, eyeing me.
“What are you thinking about, Jailbird?”
Instead of answering, I walk toward him. He glances to his left at my friends before lowering his confused gaze to me. I stop in front of him, knowing we are inside the door enough to be out of sight of any cameras. He’s too tall and I know I won’t be able to kiss his lips but I stand on my tippy toes and press my lips to his jaw. “You.”
A pleased growl rumbles in his chest and I fall back to flat feet and smile sweetly up to him. “Always you.”
5
Payson
We’ve been at dinner for an hour. I called my grandpa to make sure he would be okay and he promised he would. He also basically threatened me with a grounding if I didn’t spend the night with my friends. I know he wouldn’t have actually grounded me, but he was smart to do that, because I was already regretting coming out when I know he is home alone. I still worry about him all the time. It swallows me whole when I let myself think on it too hard, so maybe one night with Janelle and Monica will be nice. Plus, I sent a text to my aunt letting her know, and she replied promising me she would call him before bed and after she woke up when I mentioned I have morning practice.