Page 83 of Witchful Thinking

Lucy squeezed his hand.

“I can’t. They already took the award from another person. I’d look like a fool. I can’t tell them about the spell. I don’t know what will happen to me if I break it. I’ll figure it out.”

Alex opened his mouth, then shut it. She’d figure it out on her own without his help. Lucy didn’t ask or want his opinion about the reunion. Besides, he’d be riding out of town at the same time she’d be giving her speech. A swift sadness stole his breath for a long second. He really was leaving.

Lucy dropped his hand and gasped. “I can’t believe it!”

Alex watched as Lucy made a beeline right for a pair of lamps nestled next to a massive ship in a bottle.

“May I?” Lucy asked the vendor. The woman in a short-sleeve shirt covered in orange slices, a safari hat, and jean shorts nodded.

Carefully, Lucy picked up one lamp and showed him. It wasn’t anything too special, but it did have that simple seaside vibe he was going for with the house.

“We can’t leave without getting these. I put them on our mood board. I manifested these lamps.” Lucy waved a hand over it as if she were showing off a grand prize on a game show. Alex just listened to her talk. He could listen to her read from a weather app; it didn’t matter. “Recycled wood banister with distressed white paint. We can replace the shade, but they’d be perfect for the living room.”

Alex checked out the price tag. Whoa. He blinked rapidly, hoping that maybe he added on an extra zero. “For that price, a genie needs to come out both of them.”

The vendor perked up. “If you’re looking for a genie lamp, I know someone who can help.”

Alex held up a hand. “No thank you, ma’am.”

“These are perfect for the end tables. You can’t put a price on perfection. It’ll tie the living room together.”

Lucy bounced on her toes doing a little cute dance, cradling the lamp. He wanted to make her happy, but that price was bending the budget. The house didn’t need it, but maybe they could find a compromise.

“Let’s look around and if we can’t find anything better, then we’ll be back.”

“Okay,” Lucy said, giving him a pout. She patted the lamp and returned it to the vendor. “You’re the boss. It’s your home.”

Lucy made an oop face. He froze. Her words played in a loop in his head. The world spun around him as if he were on a carousel. It’s your home. It was his home. Lucy reached up and placed a hand to his forehead. Her hand felt so soft and cool against his skin.

“Hey, you look a little pale.”

“I’m fine. I should get some water,” Alex said. He patted her hand and stepped back. If he touched her again, he’d want to hold on and not let go. We accidentally hurt our lovers by taking them underwater for too long. We forget to let them go.

“Stay here. I’ll get us something to cool us off.”

Lucy went off toward the row of food trucks.

He looked over his shoulder at the camera table down the way. That instant film camera was still there waiting for him, taunting him to take it. To want. He wanted to stay. Alex stopped and a took a deep breath. He wanted to stay, keep this house, and make it into his home. Their home. He wanted Lucy to stay with him. This mistake wasn’t supposed to happen again.

Alex looked around until he found her. Lucy was walking back toward him, cradling two drinks in her hands. One cup was just iced tea, but the other was mixed lemonade and iced tea. Such a small detail to some people meant so much to Alex. It meant a lot to the merman who had never found his place to know that he had this temporary safe space with her. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her even though she wasn’t looking at him. She was joined by two people.

Poe stood on one side, while Lucy chatted with Theo. Joy radiated from her entire self.

When you gave your heart and soul to a place or a person, you gave it the power to shatter your heart and tear apart your soul. You can’t lose what you don’t carry. If your hands are always empty, you can’t leave anything behind. This cottage wasn’t supposed to complicate his life. She had to understand that a merman couldn’t be kept in a fishbowl. The world was waiting for him. You knew better than to believe in the Grove; you were always going to leave. He couldn’t stay. If he stayed, he’d eventually let her down and disappoint everyone. His heart dropped to his stomach.

We forget humans need air, land, and sunshine.

Lucy belonged here. He didn’t belong, even though he wanted to with every ounce of ocean water in his veins. Alex couldn’t ask her to go with him. He didn’t even know where he was going to stay. She had her students, her coven, and her life in the Grove. If he stayed, she’d stay and give up everything she wanted just to make him feel secure. She’d get into the residency program because she was brilliant and deserved to do amazing things. Grounded. Safe. He had no right after all this time to ask her to change her plans, her dreams, because he decided to stay for now. He watched her laugh at something Poe said.

He didn’t want to get in the way of her wish.

***

Lucy wished she had a sock so she could stuff it into her big mouth. She’d seen the blood drain from his face when she slipped up and said the word “home” to Alex. The one time she wanted her mouth not to work, it did without a problem and completely derailed the day. He didn’t even want her to touch him.

She rushed off to get them drinks from the Refresh Hut truck, thinking of ways to ease his nerves. Lucy didn’t mean to rattle him, but it was clear as day that he didn’t want to leave. He hadn’t packed up his clothes from the bedroom. His cameras were all over the table. Evidence of his life was scattered all over his home, but he acted like he was just visiting.