Page 91 of Kiss and Spell
You can’t live up to the fairy tale. You’ll always end up disappointing whoever loves you.
He undressed, trying to find the right way to tell her how much she meant to him. Anything but love. Nothing seemed enough. If love required acts of courage, then currently he was a coward. But he didn’t know what would happen after he said those three words.
Would the world fall down on his head, or would he feel unburdened?
She took his hand, love clear and pure in her eyes. “Let’s go to bed.”
He lay in bed awake next to her for hours. What was the bravest thing he could do right now? He leaned and whispered in her ear, gentle at first, but then he said it two more times. He gave her the only thing he could at this moment. His one true name. She whimpered softly and turned away from him. Did she hear me?
Xavier nestled himself against her. He’d try again in the morning.
Tomorrow was another day to be brave with Ursula.
He blinked his eyes rapidly. The early morning light filtered in underneath the curtain, blocking the sun. Gulls cawed outside and the sounds of the Grove waking greeted him. Relief flooded through him. He was still here. It was just a twinge. He felt her stir against his back, but it didn’t feel like she was awake. He turned to her. His Sleeping Beauty still slumbered. She lay supine, her top sliding up, showing off a smooth line of tempting flesh. He’d love to awake her with a deft touch of his hand, but instead he kissed her brow.
After last night, he wanted to go slow. She stirred, not opening her eyes.
“Stay. I’ll get breakfast,” he said.
“Be safe,” she said sleepily. He kissed her forehead. Xavier dressed and grabbed her keys from the kitchen table. He walked down to Night Sky, where Gwen stood behind the counter. She shot him a grin.
“Good morning, Your Excellence.”
“Most people call me Xavier.”
“I’m not most people. I’m goofy.” Gwen winked. Xavier laughed. He enjoyed how friendly humans were to each other in the Grove.
She slid a menu over to him, but he kindly waved it off. “I’ll take two pain au chocolat, a ham and cheese croissant, a large iced coffee, and a lemon ginger iced tea.”
She entered in his order and a barista went about assembling it at rapid speed.
“Somebody’s worked up an appetite,” Gwen said jokingly. “Long night?”
He blushed. “I don’t need to have this conversation with my girlfriend’s sister.”
Xavier blinked. Did I just say that out loud? His whole face went numb.
Gwen’s eyes went wide like an owl. “Does Ursula know she’s your girlfriend?”
Xavier gave his head a little shake.
“Your secret’s safe with me,” she whispered loudly.
He quickly paid Gwen and dropped the change in the tip jar. The barista handed him his items. Ursula didn’t know how he truly felt. He’d given her flowers, but he hadn’t said the words yet. A sense of urgency filled him. He had to tell her what was in his heart even if it meant facing Father a little sooner than expected.
Xavier gave Gwen a thankful look. “She’s waiting for me. I’ll see you later.”
He returned to the apartment. When he went into the bedroom, he was greeted with an empty bed and discarded robe. Xavier put the food and keys on the nightstand, then checked the time. Good. He needed a moment to get his thoughts together. Be brave. He’d tell Whitney after he told Ursula. Once she knew, then Xavier would come up with a plan to speak to Father about him remaining in the Grove. He made his choice, and he was staying with Ursula.
“Sula?” he called out.
“I’ll be out soon,” she yelled from the bathroom over the shower spray. “Go and eat.”
If he needed to, he’d hop in the shower just to tell her how she made him feel.
He bounced on his heels.
“Just say it,” he whispered. Maybe if he practiced a few times, then he wouldn’t be so nervous. Rip it off like a bandage. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”